Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
The Heartwrenching Life of Mary Tyler Moore
Mary Tyler Moore spent decades as “America’s Sweetheart,” starring in popular shows like The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. But behind her Hollywood success, her life was filled with family tragedies. Here is the story of Mary Tyler Moore.
Mary Tyler Moore was born on December 29, 1936, in Brooklyn, New York, to George Tyler Moore, a clerk, and Marjorie Hackett Moore. She was the oldest of three children in a Catholic family, raised in a home her father called “impoverished nobility.”
Mary Tyler Moore – Childhood
Brooklyn was a diverse place during Mary’s childhood. As an English-Irish Catholic, she grew up in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood. Though it was different from what she was used to, Mary found it exciting. “My background is exciting,” she said. “We integrated ourselves, fought each other, called each other names, but through it all we were friends.”
Mary loved dancing as a young girl. When she was five, her family moved to Los Angeles, bringing her closer to her dream of being in show business. After World War II, the Moore family settled in Los Angeles, where Mary’s successful uncle, Harold Hackett, encouraged the move.
Moving to Los Angeles
Starting at the bottom, Mary worked hard to achieve her dream. She attended grammar school in Hollywood and later went to a Catholic school. She wasn’t the best student and struggled with self-confidence, especially with a father who was an expert on movie classics.
However, Mary knew that if she was going to make it in show business, LA was the place to be. She focused on singing and dancing and worked in the mailroom of a Hollywood company in 1953. Although it wasn’t glamorous, it was a step toward her dream. But Mary wasn’t meant to stay in a mailroom.
Mary would often sit in on radio show rehearsals, and she eventually took dance classes, which her aunt paid for. By the time she graduated high school, Mary was well on her way to a career in show business.
Mary Tyler Moore – Dancer
In 1955, Mary got her first on-screen role as a dancer in TV commercials for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. She played “Happy Hotpoint” in 39 segments, earning $6,000. At just 17 years old, Mary was now a professional dancer. But soon, she found out she was pregnant, which changed everything.
Mary had married Richard Carleton Meeker in 1955, and they had a son, Richard “Richie” Meeker Jr., in 1956. She wrote in her memoir how difficult it was to continue working as an actress while pregnant. She even had to squeeze into a costume that became tighter as her pregnancy progressed.
Mary Tyler Moore – Comedy Shows
After her pregnancy, Mary’s career took off. She appeared in several TV shows, and although she was often hired for her “beautiful dancer legs,” she soon proved she had real talent. In the early 1960s, she was cast as Laura Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show. The show became a huge success, known for its clever humor. Mary won two Emmys and a Golden Globe for her work on the show.
After the show ended in 1966, Mary took a break to focus on family and movies. However, she found her true calling in comedy shows. In 1970, she got her own show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, where she played the role of Mary Richards, a single woman working as a producer at a fictional news station. The show was groundbreaking and became an instant hit.
Mary’s show ran for seven seasons and 168 episodes, earning her many awards. But it wasn’t all easy. Before the pilot aired, both Mary and the writers were worried. They had a terrible first run-through, and Mary cried herself to sleep. But the writers made changes, and the show became a huge success.
Mary Tyler Moore – Awards
The show was filmed in front of a live audience, which made it nerve-wracking for Mary, who often had to perform dance routines perfectly. “It was do or die,” she said. Mary won several awards for her role, including three Emmys and a Golden Globe, proving her talent.
However, behind the success, Mary faced personal struggles. Both she and her mother battled alcoholism. Mary’s sister passed away from a combination of alcohol and painkillers, and Mary’s own son also faced addiction and tragic loss.
Alcohol Abuse
Mary’s alcoholism worsened during her marriage to Grant Tinker. She would drink to cope with unhappiness, even playing “Russian roulette” with her car. After their divorce in 1980, Mary’s drinking continued until she checked into the Betty Ford Center for help. She managed to stop drinking and found strength during her recovery.
Tragic Passing of Son Ritchie Meeker
Mary’s son, Richie Meeker, tragically passed away in October 1980 after accidentally shooting himself with a gun. Richie had struggled with addiction, and his death was devastating for Mary. She later spread his ashes in the Owens River in California and wrote about her grief in her memoir.
Mary Tyler Moore – Academy Award
Despite the heartbreak, Mary continued to find success. In 1980, she starred in Ordinary People, earning an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. She also won a Tony Award for her Broadway performance in Whose Life Is It Anyway?.
Mary married Robert Levine in 1983, and they stayed together until her death in 2017. In her later years, Mary battled complications from diabetes, including heart and kidney problems. She also lost her vision, and in 2011, she had a benign tumor removed from her brain.
Mary Tyler Moore passed away on January 25, 2017, at the age of 80 due to cardiopulmonary arrest, following a battle with pneumonia. Her death was met with tributes from fellow celebrities, including Robert Redford and Oprah Winfrey.
Mary Tyler Moore had a tough life behind the scenes, but she will always be remembered for her talent, grace, and kindness. She will be missed, but her legacy lives on.
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