According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
After 6-year-old son passes away, parents find note he left them
I hope that when you’re reading this story you have some tissues to hand because you’re going to need them; I really cried real tears for this little boy and you will too!
This lovely little boy, called Leland Shoemake, wanted his mommy and daddy to have this lovely sweet message from him before his time came to leave this world.
At only the tender age of six-years-old this little boy died of his condition on September 25th, he was undergoing treatment for Balamuthia mandrillaris, a brain-eating amoeba.
His parents returned home without their son to find a note, it was special and it’s something that they will treasure and cherish for all their days!
His mom was in his room, she was organizing and preparing for the funeral, it was Tim who found the note, it was in their living room in a place that he liked to draw and do art.
Time burst into tears as soon as he set his eyes on the note, he ran towards his wife, keen to show her the note he had found…
The note simply ready this:
“Still with you. Thank you, mom and dad. Love mom and dad.”
Amber said:
“To say I lost it was an understatement …We cried together for the longest time.”
Their little boy frequently wrote notes to them, and pictures too, but this one was really so much more special than any of the others, they decided to frame it and have it on the wall in the living room.
After 6-year-old son passes away, parents find note he left them
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I hope that when you’re reading this story you have some tissues to hand because you’re going to need them; I really cried real tears for this little boy and you will too!
This lovely little boy, called Leland Shoemake, wanted his mommy and daddy to have this lovely sweet message from him before his time came to leave this world.
At only the tender age of six-years-old this little boy died of his condition on September 25th, he was undergoing treatment for Balamuthia mandrillaris, a brain-eating amoeba.
His parents returned home without their son to find a note, it was special and it’s something that they will treasure and cherish for all their days!
His mom was in his room, she was organizing and preparing for the funeral, it was Tim who found the note, it was in their living room in a place that he liked to draw and do art.
Time burst into tears as soon as he set his eyes on the note, he ran towards his wife, keen to show her the note he had found…
The note simply ready this:
“Still with you. Thank you, mom and dad. Love mom and dad.”
Amber said:
“To say I lost it was an understatement …We cried together for the longest time.”
Their little boy frequently wrote notes to them, and pictures too, but this one was really so much more special than any of the others, they decided to frame it and have it on the wall in the living room.
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Mom says in her Facebook past that Leland was a clever and very curious little boy!Amber wrote about him:
“He knew his abc’s, numbers, colors, shapes and 20 sight words by the time he was a year old. He was our little nerd and we loved that about him. He loved school and loved to learn. He loved the history channel, the weather channel, documentaries and anything about history …He had a hunger for learning.”
Leland wasn’t just a clever little boy, he also was really sociable too and enjoyed talking with his parents and other people too, every single person who came into contact with him recognized his lovely kind personality, his parents even made new friends because of him.
He was just a really lovely child, but taken way too soon, before he flourished!
This note he left behind, it was simply beautiful, something that everyone should see, words are really not enough to describe what it means to any parent to find something like this in these circumstances.
Amber said about Leland:
“He was our little nerd and we loved that about him. He loved school and loved to learn.”
“He loved the history channel, the weather channel, documentaries and anything about history.”
“He loved ships like the Titanic and learning about things like WWII. He was perfect. His favorite movie was jaws.”
“His favorite director was Steven Spielberg. And his favorite actor was Adam Sandler.”
“He loved his brother and his family so much. He was the life of every party. His smile could light up a city.”
“He was the smartest, most caring, loving little boy there ever was.”
This little boy will be sadly missed by all that knew him, his parents especially and we send our love and prayers to him!
Please SHARE this touching story with your friends and family.
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