According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
A family gifted with rare black & white twins receive the same blessing 7 years later
The Durrant family, a six-person unit that is not only attractive but has overcome some incredible odds, is something to behold when seen as a whole.
In 2001, Alison Spooner and Dean Durrant had their first set of twins, who immediately captured everyone’s attention.
The unpredictability of life on this planet is arguably its most amazing feature.
The unexpected can certainly be distressing or even painful at times, but there are also many situations when we’re pleasantly delighted by something we didn’t anticipate to happen.
Dean Durrant and Alison Spooner appear to be a typical couple from the outside, yet it turns out that their genes are very unique. This is demonstrated by the miracle that resulted in not only one pair of identical twins, but two…
Hayleigh and Lauren Durrant, who are black and white twins, proudly cradle their baby sisters Leah and Miya, who, amazingly, are also…Posted on Wednesday, April 8, 2015 by Talking Babies
Hayleigh and Lauren Durrant, twin sisters from Hampshire in England, were born in 2001 with various skin tones. The white twin resembled their mother, while the black twin resembled their father.
When Alison and Dean initially learned they were expecting twins, they thought the children would be like them both. However, Alison’s parents received a surprise after Laura and Hayleigh were born in 2001.
While Laura’s twin sister had largely taken after her father, Laura had inherited her mother’s fair skin, blue eyes, and red hair.
Naturally, Alison and Dean’s relatives and friends were shocked. The phenomenon is extremely unusual, yet it does occasionally occur.
Growing up wasn’t always easy as their parents had to field questions about how this could have happened and comments of disbelief, and then the girls would face questions from their friends at school.
On the twins’ 18th birthday in 2019, Hayleigh, who has dark skin and hair like her dad Dean, stated they weren’t always accepted.
“Some people can be really rude. They’ll say, ‘You’re lying, you aren’t twins – prove it!’ So we’ll reel off the same address or pull our passports out. It’s nice to see the shock on people’s faces.
“When we went to college it was difficult because there were lots of groups of Asian, white and black kids. The black group were trying to integrate me and I was like, ‘This is my white twin sister.’ No one could believe it. People look at us like it’s some kind of miracle. I’m still amazed that we are twins.”
Meanwhile, Lauren, who has her mother’s green eyes and fair hair, said, “People just assume we’re best friends rather than sisters, let alone twins.
“I’m happy with that because she is my best friend.”
There is a 1 in 500 chance that twins born to multiracial parents will have distinct skin tones.
After only seven years, Alison discovered she was expecting twins once more! When Laura and Hayleigh aged 7, their mother gave birth to another set of identical twin sisters, and the family once more made headlines.
This time, when the babies were discovered to be in the breech position, Alison was induced at 37 weeks. Due to breathing issues, the newborns had to be sent to intensive care right away, depriving Alison and Dean of the opportunity to spend quality time with them.
But when parents could finally see their newborns, they understood that they had overcome yet another obstacle. Another set of miraculous biracial twins was born!
In addition to having distinct skin tones, the daughters, Leah and Miya, made their family the only one in the world to have two sets of multiracial twins.The family of records quickly made it to the Guinness World Records.
Even non-identical twins are uncommon, Dr. Sarah Jarvis of the Royal College of General Practitioners told CBS News.
“To have two eggs fertilized and come out different colors less common so to have it happen twice must be one in millions,” she added.
“I’m almost blown away as the rest of them, there’s no easy way to explain it all,” proud dad Dean told CBS News. “I’m still in shock myself even though the first ones were 7 years ago, it’s amazing.”
Their two older sisters, who have been able to help them navigate the difficulties, assist Leah and Miya.
“The younger ones idolise the older ones and are always copying them. It’s like having two Mini-Mes,” said their father.
“They are best friends and close in every way, apart from looking different. It took me some years to understand the science of how they could appear so different,” their mom added.
Leah shared: “Lauren and Hayleigh are my heroes. I like my older sisters. We want to be like them when we are grown-up.”
Despite their physical disparities, the girls remarked that they are similar in many respects and that they are fortunate to have each other.
Hayleigh explained: “We say the same things at the same time and finish each other’s sentences. Sometimes I know exactly what she is thinking.”
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