According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
The Ingenious Pocket Tool Everyone Used Back In The Day!
Remember those cold winter days when you had to walk to school in the face of a wind that seemed to cut right through your wool coat? Perhaps you were the young person who, even with gloves on, spent the entire day ice skating on a frozen pond or building snow forts. For those of us who were born in the 50s, 60s, or 70s, enduring the bitter cold of winter was a common occurrence. Using a charcoal hand warmer was another unique way to stay warm.
Charcoal warmers were a necessity for the winter months before disposable heat packs and battery-operated warmers were introduced to the market. For those who were outdoors a lot, they were quite useful.
These hand warmers were designed to be comfortable, not only to keep your hands warm. You would place a bit of charcoal inside a metal container lined with felt, slide it inside your pocket, and allow the heat to disperse. Those bitterly cold winter days were somewhat more tolerable thanks to this tiny device.
Though its technology may look antiquated now, it was a very effective system. The felt lining kept you out of direct heat while letting warmth slowly seep through the metal container, which was intelligently made to store charcoal sticks that burned constantly. The charcoal would not burn out too quickly because of the airflow at the back, and it would last for hours.
Consider it a tiny, reusable, and effective furnace for your hands. Disposable goods weren’t very popular back then. These durable hand warmers were treasured items that were handed down through the generations.
Hand warmers were a need back then, not an extravagance. Winters appeared more severe, but that didn’t stop people from working or going outside when it got chilly. The bitter cold was a little easier to bear if you were lucky enough to have one of these heaters. The charcoal hand warmer in your pocket was a silent ally against the cold, whether you were hunting, fishing, or just doing errands.
Our parents and grandparents also found these warmers to be extremely helpful during their arduous, chilly workdays. These devices provide much-needed respite prior to the widespread or dependable use of contemporary heating systems.
It makes me grin to think of these little instruments. They stood for preparedness and the will to simplify things, even if it meant concentrating on little pleasures. They were passed down through the generations, lent to friends in need, and valued for their warmth at all times.
It brings back happy memories of a charcoal hand warmer providing consistent warmth when you most needed it. It’s evidence of human ingenuity and tenacity as well as the pleasures of basic comfort in the face of bitter cold.
Leave a Reply