According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Man Digging In His Backyard Makes The Last Discovery He Ever Expected To Find
John Sims moved to Tucson, Arizona, in an effort to live a more restrained lifestyle. He never imagined that it would become one of the most memorable moments of his life. It all started when the former owner of his new home told him about a worrying rumor.
Rumor had it that something was hidden on the property. John could not get the idea out of his brain, so he started digging in the backyard. What he discovered made him cringe. He did not, without a doubt, sign up for this.
The house in the mysterious backyard
John Sims had heard about a friend’s selling of a house in midtown Tucson, Arizona, and was eager to buy. Since the owner was one of his buddies, he knew he would be in good hands. But after he finished the papers, he heard of a rumor about the property from an associate.
The elders of the community claim that they believe something fascinating is hidden away somewhere in it. Though his partner was never able to solve the puzzle, John might be able to. John would ultimately discover something that would delight people all across the state of Arizona.
His insatiable curiosity won out.
As John started to organize his belongings in his new house, he couldn’t help but think back to what his friend had said. He was curious, but he was also interested. He quickly had a strong desire to solve the mysteries surrounding his new house.
After digging, John started to look about his land. John dug four different holes in the backyard before realizing there was nothing there. If he couldn’t find it under the grass, then whatever it is, it’s got to be under the bricks.
X denotes the place.
John found the construction documents of his house when he was granted access to local records. It turned out that Whitaker Pools was an unusual facility that had been built in 1961. Now that he had proof that there was something buried on the property, John was even more determined to solve the mystery.
He enlisted consultants equipped with metal detectors to help him locate it. Once there and equipped with the appropriate tools, a group investigated John’s backyard. Before long, the metal detectors began to sound. John marked the locations of the two metal detector triggers with a huge X in the chalk.
making a connection
After the consultants were dismissed, John excitedly grabbed a shovel and got to work digging. His shovel struck something metal really quickly. Finally he felt something three feet under the grass. John decided to stop and think after making some progress.
Is it possible that this was a septic tank? What would happen if he succeeded in damaging or breaking a pipe? He had to exercise extreme caution. However, the more he dug with precision, the more he sensed that something was off. He was going to solve his own garden puzzle.
Opening the hatch
John later found what looked to be the aperture of a hatch. He bent to clear some dirt, then used a pry bar to pry open the metal cover. John was cautious not to breathe in too much since he might be in contact with mold spores or toxic gas vapors.
John left the lid open for nearly a day in order to let any air from below escape and let fresh air into the structure. He also knew that the air in the little space needs to be tested for mold before entering.
It wasn’t safe.
John glanced through the hatch the next morning. A spiral staircase that led below was revealed to him. Though most would have been so happy that they would have started walking down right immediately, John wasn’t that foolish.
He knew more now. As the captain of the Rural/Metro Fire Department, he needed someone close by in case the lid fell back in. There was no way he could lift the lid from underneath on his own now that he was home alone.
Forming a group
Because of his considerable training and experience in rescuing people from tight spaces, John was aware of all the risks. He could see that the staircase was unsteady and that going into the shaft by itself would be too dangerous.
It was John who decided to form a team. He summoned some friends over to lend a hand. Some might act as spotters while others could help him with the excavation when it was safe enough to explore what was inside the shaft.
Making a strategy
The team assembled the next day and set to work creating a blueprint. They discussed the best course of action as well. One of their first acts was to reinforce and rebuild the concrete framework surrounding the steps.
They built Sonotube cardboard around the entryway to keep everyone safe while they worked. John and his team worked hard to pour concrete layers and secure the rebar inside the hatch.
It took a lot of work.
To protect the team and the hatch, John had to cover the hatch with a tarpaulin. It was starting to become too hot in Arizona. When they took pauses from the heat, they speculated about what might be down there.
We had a lot of work ahead of us in order to get the answers. An electrical line has to be constructed in order to provide sufficient lighting within the shaft and to use power equipment when needed. To bring in fresh air, a black pipe was also installed into the shaft.
figuring out the entrance
They had finally finished building the area around the structure. However, the spiral staircase presented another challenge. The steps were so corroded that it was impossible to determine whether they could sustain any weight. They needed to figure out another way inside without going up the stairs.
John had to take great care to descend the team’s ladder without cutting himself on the rusty steps. John was excited beyond belief. He was going to be the first to figure out the code. It was finally the moment he had been waiting for.
There was still unresolved business.
When they reached the bottom, John was relieved to hear they did not need to dig any deeper. Still, more work needed to be done. The tunnel ceilings’ fiberglass covering was slowly breaking down. This suggested that there was still a risk to the building.
John was shocked to discover, after a thorough inspection, that the structure was essentially undamaged despite being abandoned for nearly fifty years. Later on, even though it was unoccupied at the time, it was found to be John’s backyard nuclear bomb bunker!
starting in the era of the Cold War
It all became obvious at once. The shelter was built during the Cold War, when the United States and the Soviet Union feared full-scale nuclear war. At that point, Whitaker Pools added bomb shelters to their line of business.
Actually, there were bomb shelters on several sites around Tucson. In the case of a nuclear war, that was the best a responsible family man could do at the time to protect his loved ones.
Tucson’s historical past
Bombs and Tucson, it turns out, have a long history together. Tucson was dubbed the “rocket town” because it possessed eighteen ballistic missiles that could cross continents and destroy an area of 900 square miles.
By the conclusion of the Cold War, almost all of the missiles in the missile silos had been rendered unusable, but the government continued to keep them top secret. Most nuclear bunkers were dismantled or shut up in the early 1980s.
growing in acceptance
John shared his garden discovery on Reddit and quickly became well-known. The post has received hundreds of comments in a matter of hours. Local publications and TV shows started getting in touch to set up interviews about it.
The story was covered by international outlets such as the Daily Mail. John’s tale has also been told in Japan. Undoubtedly a noteworthy finding. Tucson locals started to fear as well, in case they had one in their backyard.
What happens after that?
The attention he received helped John make relationships with people in the community who had fallout shelters. He had the chance to ask them about their cleaning procedure and get advice on how to use it going forward.
John wants to build a museum dedicated to the Cold War, but most others turned theirs into wine cellars or man caves. After conducting a great deal of research on the Cold War era, John started collecting relics such as Geiger counters, water supply barrels, HAM radios, and sanitation kits.
His thoughts after making this discovery
“I was really hoping it was going to be a little microcosm… a time capsule full of radiation detectors, cots, civil defense boxes, and stuff like that,” John stated in an interview. Sadly, the bomb shelter was devoid of any furnishings at all.
John also talked about his extensive reading on the Cold War. He believes that the Cuban Missile Crisis was probably the primary cause of Tucson residents’ decision to construct bomb shelters in their backyards during the 1960s.
Suggestions for Tucson residents
John suggests that Tucson locals look through City of Tucson or Pima County data to see whether there is a bomb shelter located in their backyard. The information will probably be in the building permits.
John also warns everyone not to dive in too quickly when someone finds a bomb shelter in the yard. John continued by saying that it’s generally not a good idea to jump into earthly openings because the poisonous air in a tunnel or cave-in can render a person quickly unconscious.
requesting financial support
John intends to completely remodel the bomb shelter. But he didn’t have that much money. He set up a GoFundMe campaign to gather money for the renovation of his bomb bunker from the 1960s. He also planned to restore the interior in addition to the entryway.
John’s first priority was to replace the steps so that everyone could enter safely. John and the remodeling crew may now enter and exit the building safely, something he was only able to do with the money he was able to raise.
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