Jake and Mary Jacobs marked their 70th anniversary of a happy marriage last year, but their journey wasn’t simple.
Mary, who is White, and Jake, who is Black, lived in the same city in 1940s Britain. At that time, there weren’t many Black men there.
Even though Mary’s father told her to leave, Mary chose love over easy choices.
“When I told my father I was going to marry Jake, he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
Mary and Jake first met at a technical college where Mary was learning typing and shorthand, and Jake was undergoing Air Force training. They met during the war when Jake moved from Trinidad to Britain.
Jake impressed Mary with his understanding of Shakespeare, and they got to know each other. One day, they invited Mary and her friend to join them for a picnic. Unfortunately, someone passing by saw them and reported Mary to her father. The woman was shocked to see two English girls talking with black guys. After this incident, Mary wasn’t allowed to visit her father again.
After Jake returned to Trinidad, they kept in touch through letters. A few years later, he came back to the U.K. to find a better-paying job.
Jake surprised Mary by proposing, and she, at 19, said yes. However, when she told her family, they kicked her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
Mary’s father was upset about her marrying a black man, and Mary didn’t realize that society felt the same way.
The early years of their marriage in Birmingham were tough. Mary cried every day, hardly ate, and they faced many challenges. Nobody would talk to them, they couldn’t find a place to live because nobody would rent to a black man, and they had little money.
Even walking down the street together was hard because people would point at them, Mary explained.
Mary and Jake were excited to become parents, but at eight months, Mary gave birth to a stillborn child. She mentioned it wasn’t due to the stress she was under, but it deeply saddened them, and they didn’t have any more children.
As time passed, their lives improved. Mary became a teacher and eventually an assistant principal, while Jake found a job with the Post Office. They made new friends, but Mary felt the need to explain to people that her husband was black before introducing them.
“My father passed away when I was 30, and even though we reconciled by then, he never approved of Jake,” she shared.
Currently, Jake, 89, and Mary, 84, live in Solihull, a town south of Birmingham. They recently celebrated 70 years of marriage.
Jake said he has no regrets, but he also mentioned that today’s black youth may not fully understand the challenges he faced in 1940s Britain.
“When I arrived in the U.K., I faced abuse every day. Once, on a bus, a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said, ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.’ Back then, working in an office as a black man with white girls wasn’t considered safe,” Jake explained.
Despite all the challenges, bias, and abuse, the pair is still deeply in love and has no regrets about being married. They have been happily married for more than 70 years.
These two are a true inspiration, and I wish them a lifetime of pleasure because of the love they have for one another.
I Was Asked to Leave a Restaurant Due to My Age and Outfit – Here’s How I Responded Days Later
At 72, Everly was told she was “too old” and her attire “inappropriate” for a fashionable restaurant. Her comeback? A Facebook post that went viral, igniting a public outcry for change.
My name is Everly, and even at 72, my zest for new experiences hasn’t waned. It was a sunny Thursday morning when my daughter, Nancy, unexpectedly visited my small garden shop. Her arrival was a surprise, and her proposal even more so. “Mom, let’s check out that new restaurant downtown,” she suggested, her eyes alight with excitement.
Our outfits were modest; I was in my favorite floral blouse and khaki trousers, and Nancy wore jeans and a T-shirt. For us, it wasn’t about how we dressed but about enjoying each other’s company.
We talked about the restaurant as we drove, looking forward to creating a new memory together. However, we were unaware that this simple outing was about to take an unforeseen turn.
Upon entering the restaurant, we were met with modern music and lively chatter. The place was filled with a young, fashion-forward crowd, making our casual clothes stand out. But that didn’t bother us; we were there for the food and the experience.
Just as we were getting seated by the window, a young waiter approached us. Initially courteous, his demeanor shifted upon noticing our attire. “I’m sorry,” he began, his tone now less friendly, “but this place might not be suitable for you.”
“You seem to be too old for our usual clientele,” he added, “and your attire really isn’t appropriate for the ambiance we strive for here.” Nancy’s cheeks flushed with indignation while a sharp sting of rejection hit me—not for who I was, but for my appearance and my age.
His next words were even more cutting. “We would prefer if you left our restaurant so as not to disturb the other guests,” he said bluntly. Before we could react, he signaled for security. The arrival of two burly bodyguards emphasized that he was serious.
The embarrassment was immediate and intense. Around us, I could feel the stares of other patrons, some curious, others indifferent. Nancy gripped my hand tightly, and we left quietly, the waiter’s hurtful words echoing in our ears.
I was heartbroken, feeling a mix of shame and sadness at being judged so harshly in what should have been a welcoming place.
Once outside, Nancy, fueled by anger, took photos of the bodyguards. “We have to expose this, Mom. People need to know about their discriminatory behavior,” she insisted.
That evening, we shared our experience on Facebook, detailing how we were unfairly judged based on our age and appearance. Nancy tagged the restaurant, calling for her friends to spread the word.
The post exploded overnight, shared thousands of times with comments of shock and support flooding in. Many shared similar stories of discrimination, painting a broader picture of ageism and superficial judgments in businesses. The restaurant’s online ratings plummeted as people expressed their displeasure.
Amidst the viral storm, the restaurant owner, Mr. Thompson, contacted me personally. He was apologetic and distressed about the incident. “Mrs. Everly, I’m truly sorry. I was unaware of the incident as it unfolded,” he admitted, his voice laden with regret. “The young waiter is my son, who was managing in my absence.”
He explained his absence due to a business trip and his son’s lack of experience in handling the restaurant. “I would like to invite you back for a complimentary meal and to personally apologize,” he offered earnestly.
I was hesitant but recognized his sincerity. “Mr. Thompson, it’s important that this isn’t just about a free meal. It’s about respect and how people are treated,” I replied, hoping he understood the significance of the issue.
He agreed wholeheartedly. “You’re absolutely right, Mrs. Everly. I’ve discussed this at length with my son. He’s here now and would like to apologize as well. He needs to learn to respect all customers, regardless of age or dress.”
“I’ve made it clear he will not inherit the business until he fully adopts these values,” Mr. Thompson shared, his tone that of a concerned father taking corrective measures.
This conversation with Mr. Thompson was a step in the right direction, showing a commitment to change and understanding. Feeling a mix of validation and contemplation, I ended the call somewhat reassured.
A week later, dressed in my finest silk dress, I returned to the restaurant, ready to face the place that had judged me so unfairly. As I walked in, Mr. Thompson greeted me with genuine warmth, guiding me to a beautifully arranged table.
The waiter, Mr. Thompson’s son, approached with evident nervousness, a stark change from his earlier demeanor. “Mrs. Everly, I am sincerely sorry for how I acted before. It was disrespectful,” he apologized, his remorse apparent.
Following our meal, which was both delicious and meaningful, I updated my Facebook to share the positive turn of events. “Change is achievable,” I wrote, “when we confront injustice and when those at fault are willing to learn and improve.”
Reflecting on the whole experience, I realized the impact of one voice, amplified by social media. It wasn’t just about getting an apology but about affirming that respect should be universal, regardless of age or appearance. This incident taught me the power of standing firm for one’s dignity.
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