My MIL Put Spyware in My Phone — She Didn’t Like My Surprise in Response
Living with my mother-in-law has been a nightmare. But when she insisted on fixing my broken phone, I thought it was a small step toward mending our strained relationship. Little did I know that her helpful gesture would lead to a shocking discovery that forced me to confront her schemes and ultimately redefine our household’s boundaries.
A woman and her mother in law arguing | Source: Pexels
My life has been hell ever since my Mother-In-Law (MIL) moved in with me and my husband. My name is Emily, 25, and I have been married to my husband Andrew, 28, for five years now. We stay with my MIL, Sophia, who moved in with us due to ill health about three years ago.
From the day I married her son, she made it clear that she thought I wasn’t good enough for him. Our relationship was strained at best, and we did our best to stay out of each other’s paths to keep the peace at home.
Two women who are not getting along | Source: Vecteezy
Now, a few months ago, I broke my phone, and my MIL, who was watching me closely on that day, had a whole rant about how “irresponsible I was” and how I should act “more mature.” Sophia complained incessantly about the cost of fixing the phone, grumbling about how much money I was wasting and how this could have been avoided if I had been more careful.
A mother-in-law repremanding her son’s wife | Source: Pexels
Yet, despite her constant complaints, she was surprisingly adamant about taking my phone to get it fixed herself since she stayed at home. I was a bit confused about why she wanted to go so badly, but I just let her go, as I thought she was making a kind gesture to bring us close. She came back with my phone fixed, and everything seemed normal.
A woman using her working phone | Source: Pexels
Fast forward two months, I noticed how my phone started to act weird. I asked Sophia if she had taken it to a reputable technician. “Of course,” she said, with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I took it to the best place in town.”
“I’m asking because the phone has been acting really weird,” I explained.
Sophia rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You’re being dramatic, Emily. It’s probably just your imagination.”
A woman trying to figure out what is wrong with her phone | Source: Vecteezy
I decided to leave the matter alone but at work weird data-like things kept popping up on its screen, making it almost impossible for me to use the phone. So, after work, I took the phone to the local tech support kiosk.
To my SHOCK, the tech support guy opened it up and said, “Someone put a chip in your phone.”
I blinked, trying to process his words. “A chip? What do you mean?”
A woman with her phone that is giving her problems | Source: Pexels
He pointed at a small, unfamiliar piece of hardware. “This chip allows someone to see your messages, your location, and your emails. It’s a form of spyware.”
My heart raced. “Are you serious? Who would do this?”
He shrugged. “It’s hard to say, but it must be someone who had access to your phone for a while.”
A spyware transmitting data and information | Source: Vecteezy
The only person who could do it was Sophia since my husband worked in another city for three months. I was mad as HELL and as I left the shop, I quickly formulated a plan.
In my mind, I thought, ‘She wants to spy on me? Okay, then I’ll give her something to see.’ So, I decided to leave the chip in my phone.
A woman plotiing | Source: Pixabay
I started signing up for adult shops, videos, and other 18+ content. Then, I began driving to men’s clubs and sending explicit messages to my husband, all while knowing my MIL was watching every move. My MIL became increasingly annoying but she couldn’t say anything specific about what was happening.
An annoyed woman | Source: Vecteezy
When my husband came back, my MIL set us at the table and began accusing me of cheating and all the things she had seen.
“I can’t believe this, Emily!” Sophia started, her face flushed with anger. “I’ve seen the messages you’ve been sending to strange men! And the places you’ve been visiting! Adult shops? Men’s clubs? How could you do this to my son?”
A mother-in-law making accusations | Source: Vecteezy
Andrew looked bewildered. “What are you talking about, Mom?”
Sophia continued, her voice rising. “I’ve seen it all on her phone! Explicit messages, shady locations, and subscriptions to all sorts of adult content. She’s been betraying you, Andrew!”
“How do you know all this?” I asked calmly.
She hesitated, then blurted out, “I saw it on your phone! There’s a chip that… well, it shows everything you’re doing!”
A woman using her phone | Source: Pexels
I feigned shock. “A chip? In my phone? How could that happen?” I exclaimed, widening my eyes in disbelief. “Who would do such a thing? This is outrageous! How did it even get there?”
My MIL’s face turned red. “I… I put it there to keep an eye on you. I knew you were up to something! I knew you were not good enough for my son. A liar and a cheat!”
An accusing finger | Source: Pixabay
I smirked a hint of satisfaction in my voice. “Oh, I knew about the chip. And I decided to have some fun with it. You wanted to spy on me? I gave you a show.” I leaned in slightly, my eyes glinting with defiance. “Every adult shop, every explicit message, every shady location—you saw exactly what I wanted you to see. How does it feel to be played at your own game?”
A woman smirking with satisfaction | Source: Pixabay
My husband looked between us, stunned. “You both knew? What the hell is going on?”
My MIL stammered, “She was… she was doing all those things on purpose?”
I nodded, laughing. “Yes. To show you that spying on someone is wrong. You invaded my privacy, and I wanted you to see how it feels to be manipulated.”
A woman laughing with satisfaction | Source: Pixabay
My husband finally spoke, his voice firm. “Mom, this is unacceptable. You can’t just spy on people. We need to have boundaries in this house.”
My MIL, looking defeated, muttered, “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”
“Apology accepted,” I said, “but from now on, let’s respect each other’s privacy. Agreed?”
Mother-in-law and her son’s wife reconclie | Source: Vecteezy
My MIL nodded reluctantly, and my husband added, “We’ll make sure this never happens again.”
And with that, the tension began to dissipate, and we started to rebuild trust, setting clear boundaries for the future.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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