I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Iman Gives Rare Comment on Her & David Bowie’s Only Daughter, 23, Who Is ‘Dad’s Twin’ with ‘Incredible’ Same Eyes
Iman, the widow of legendary musician David Bowie, is known for her privacy, especially when it comes to their only daughter, Lexi Jones. But in a rare and candid moment, the supermodel recently opened up about 23-year-old Lexi, whom fans say is the spitting image of her famous father, sharing his iconic eyes.
Former supermodel, Iman, seldom talks about her 23-year-old daughter with late music icon, David Bowie in interviews. However, in a recent interview, she made a rare comment that gave fans a glimpse into who Lexi is and what she loves to do.
During a sit-down with Instyle, she shared how the COVID-19 pandemic sparked a newfound passion that she now shares with her daughter.
She revealed, “I was at my upstate house and I was by myself. So I started painting. My husband was a painter. My daughter is a painter. I have never painted. And I started painting.”
Though Iman values her privacy, she occasionally shares glimpses of Lexi Jones on social media. In addition to sharing sneak peeks into Lexi’s passions, she also celebrates her publicly, especially on her birthdays.
In August 2023, she posted a heartfelt video compilation celebrating Lexi’s 23rd birthday, accompanied by the caption, “Happy Birthday, Little Wonder. God blessed us with the greatest gift: You!”
Fans celebrated Lexi, and also quickly noted Lexi’s beauty and striking resemblance to Bowie. One commenter said, “Happy belated birthday, Dad’s twin.” Another gushed, “She’s so gorgeous it’s unbelievable!!”
Previously, the supermodel and entrepreneur posted a photo showcasing Lexi’s large, expressive eyes dark hair, and well-defined eyebrows. Her caption read, “Happy Birthday, my heart, my pride, my love, my angel, my Lexi! I’m proud to call myself your mommy.”
Fans were again amazed by her resemblance to the late legendary singer. One remarked, “Her Dad’s twin,” and another added, “Incredible her expressions, her laugh, the way she lowers her eyes …incredible ..like her dad.”
Lexi Jones, from a post dated August 15, 2023 | Source: Instagram/the_real_iman
Like her mom, Lexi is selective about what she shares online, but when she does post photos, they often highlight her distinctive features. A recent photo showcased her vivid green eyes, which were especially striking against her dark, full eyebrows.
Her long lashes enhanced the impact of her gaze. Her dark hair, styled with bangs, framed her face, while the rest was pulled back, drawing even more attention to her facial structure. One fan noted, “Daddy’s eyes [sic].”
While fans marveled at Lexi’s resemblance to her father, Iman shared touching memories of her late husband in the interview, emphasizing his never-ending presence in her life.
She recounted a story from their early days together, “My husband, the first week we met, we were walking down the street and my shoelaces came undone, and he got to his knees and tied [them up]. That is my perfect person.”
She stressed that Bowie was still her husband, saying, “When people say, ‘your late husband,’ I always correct them. He is my husband, not my late husband. He was the perfect person for me and I’m happy that I was able to experience that in my lifetime.”
When David Bowie was alive, the family led a relatively normal life despite their celebrity status. Iman cooked dinner every night, and they both ensured Lexi had a grounded upbringing. Bowie cherished the time spent playing music with Lexi, who inherited her parents’ artistic talents.
Bowie once said of his wife, Iman, “She’s uncanny at keeping the business at her office and the woman at home. But she’s a mom 24/7.”
Bowie passed away over eight years ago, but Iman continues to commemorate his life. She marked the 8th year since her husband’s passing with a touching post on Instagram on January 10, 2024. The tribute reflected the eternal bond shared between the renowned couple while showing fans a glimpse into Iman’s artistic side.
Her post featured a black-and-white canvas drawing of what appeared to be a person with wings. Although she did not further explain her share, Iman wrote a few sweet words alongside her post.
“Eternal Love,” she captioned the post with the hashtag “#BowieForever.” Several of Iman’s fans and followers expressed their admiration for her artwork and kind words about her love story with Bowie.
Iman’s Instagram share follows another post that commemorated Bowie’s life. On his birthday on January 8, 2024, she shared the same hashtag along with a captivating photograph, celebrating the enduring spirit of her late husband.
Bowie passed away on January 10, 2016, after an 18-month-long battle with cancer. His official Facebook page announced the tragic news but gave fans comfort knowing that the artist died surrounded by his family.
Iman has spoken about her husband since his passing, revealing that she would never tie the knot again. Although Bowie is no longer physically with her, he was, is, and will always be her husband.
“I definitely feel his presence, especially when I look out over the glorious sunsets at our home because David loves sunsets,” she said. “So, in that way, he is ever-present. Through my memory, my love lives.”
The couple, who met through a blind date, fell in love immediately. “David said it was love at first sight,” Iman said. Their enduring love story has since been admired by many.
Although they chose to keep their relationship private, the goodness they brought to each other manifested internally. “If David was not in my life, I don’t know if I would have had the courage to start Iman Cosmetics,” Iman disclosed.
Iman and David Bowie’s home became a reminder of their love and saved her from the pain and heartbreak of losing him. Although many years have passed, she still pays tribute to him in more ways than one.
Leave a Reply