Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around

A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.

Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.

Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.

Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.

Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.

A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”

Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.

While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?

Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”

With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.

There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).

A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.

Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.

Bless!

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Separate After 27 Years of Marriage and the Reason Is Unexpected

One of Hollywood’s longest lasting couples, Hugh Jackman, 54, and Deborra-Lee Jackman, 67, shocked audiences when they shared the news that they are going their separate ways. The duo, who share 2 children, have been together for half their lives and the reason for their soon-to-come divorce has been revealed, and it’s nothing like what people expected.

Hugh and Deborra-Lee met in 1995.

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness met on the set of the Australian TV series Correlli in 1995, on the first day of the actor’s first job after drama school.

“She was a big star. Everyone loved Deb. I get picked up by the car and Deb is in the front seat of the car. I get in the backseat. She had sunglasses on, she took off her seatbelt, turned around and said ‘Hi, I’m Deborra-Lee Furness, nice to meet you.’ and I remember thinking, ‘I like this girl’.”

6 weeks into filming, Jackman noticed a man courting Deborra-Lee, and he thought “that man has a crush on her”. That’s when he realized he was actually jealous of the man, and he had a crush on her himself. A few days later, after not talking to her for one week, he confessed his feelings and to his surprise, she reciprocated; she told him she was also crushing on him and that’s how their love story began.

After 11 months of dating, Hugh and Deborra-Lee tied the knot.

Over the following years, the couple struggled with infertility and experienced many failed IVF attempts and sadly, multiple miscarriages, all of which were “particularly difficult on Deb,” Jackman shared. Becoming parents was always their plan, Jackman shared, “We thought we’d have a kid or two biologically and then adopt. But when we decided we’d had enough of IVF, we went ahead with adoption.”

In 2000, they adopted their eldest son, Oscar, now 23 years old, and their daughter Ava, in 2005, who recently turned 18.

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee had a happy life together.

The two never missed a moment to show each other and the world how much they mean to each other. Every single year Jackman honored his wife by publicly sharing how much he loves her and fans always admired and gushed over the outpour of love.

In April 2023, on their 27th and last wedding anniversary, Jackman shared a loving tribute to his wife, stating, “27 YEARS! I love you so much, and together we have created a beautiful family. And life. Your laughter, your spirit, generosity, humor, cheekiness, courage, loyalty is an incredible gift to me. I love you with all my heart.”

Just a few months later, one of Hollywood’s most loved duos announced their separation.

In a joint statement, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee announced, “We have been blessed to share almost 3 decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage. Our journey now is shifting, and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth.

Our family has been and always will be our highest priority. We undertake this next chapter with gratitude, love, and kindness. We greatly appreciate your understanding in respecting our privacy as our family navigates this transition in all of our lives.”

2023 brought many Hollywood couples to a stop, with many celebrities divorcing after years spent together. Another recent divorce was Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s and their reason, although different than the ex-Jackmans’, is equally devastating.

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