Ever wondered why the sound coming from the toilet varies depending on where men aim? It might seem like a trivial topic, but trust me, there’s an unspoken science behind it. The image above humorously captures a common yet rarely discussed phenomenon—how men instinctively adjust their bathroom technique to control the acoustics of their, well… business.
The Mystery of the Bathroom Sound Effects
Every man, whether consciously or subconsciously, knows the two sound modes of peeing:
- Loud Mode (High Volume) – When hitting the water directly.
- Silent Mode (Mute) – When aiming for the side of the toilet bowl.
The difference? It’s all about impact and surface area.
- When urine splashes directly into the water, it creates a distinct, loud sound—a signal to the world that a man is proudly relieving himself.
- When he strategically aims for the bowl’s side, the liquid flows smoothly down, reducing the noise.
And yes, most men instinctively switch between these modes depending on where they are, who’s around, or even their mood.
Why Do Men Care About Toilet Acoustics?
You might be thinking, “Why does this even matter?” Well, here’s why men unconsciously choose their “volume setting” while using the toilet.
1. The Stealth Mode: Keeping It Quiet
Ever found yourself in a quiet house in the middle of the night? Maybe you’ve woken up at 3 AM, needing to pee but not wanting to wake up the entire family. This is where silent mode comes into play.
- Aiming at the side of the bowl keeps things discreet.
- No awkward moments when someone hears you blasting a waterfall at ungodly hours.
- A smoother experience overall, especially in public or shared restrooms.
2. The Power Move: Making a Statement
On the flip side, sometimes men go full volume mode, making sure everyone within a 10-foot radius knows they’re handling business. Why?
- It’s a dominance thing—a way of asserting presence in the restroom.
- Some men simply don’t care and go for maximum efficiency.
- Others do it unknowingly, not realizing they could mute the performance.
The Psychology Behind Toilet Targeting
Believe it or not, the habit of adjusting aim isn’t just random—it’s psychological.
- Hitting the Water (Loud Mode): Feels direct, fast, and confident. Some even say it’s satisfying to hear the sound and know they’re “on target.”
- Aiming for the Sides (Silent Mode): Feels discreet, respectful, and considerate—especially in shared spaces.
Most men naturally alternate between both, depending on the situation.
How Environment Affects Aim Choices
Different settings influence whether men go full volume or whisper mode. Here’s a breakdown:
At Home: The Gentle Approach
- Most men reduce noise at home, especially if they live with family or a partner.
- Late-night bathroom trips? Silent mode to avoid waking anyone.
- Some may even sit down to pee to prevent unnecessary noise altogether.
At Work: The Public Restroom Strategy
- Office bathrooms mean one thing: tactical precision.
- Nobody wants their coworkers knowing their exact bathroom habits.
- Men tend to aim for the bowl sides to maintain professional bathroom etiquette.
In a Public Restroom: The Alpha Move
- If the restroom is busy, most men don’t hold back—it’s all about speed and efficiency.
- Loud mode is often default since no one really cares.
- But if someone’s in the next stall, there’s a slight urge to be more discreet.
At a Friend’s House: The Ultimate Dilemma
- The pressure is real—too loud, and you might get judged.
- Most guys will opt for silent mode to avoid embarrassment.
- Exception: If it’s a guys-only gathering, there’s a good chance nobody cares.
The Ultimate Hack: Controlling the Sound Like a Pro
For men who want absolute control over their bathroom acoustics, here’s a pro tip:
Start with the side of the bowl to reduce noise, then transition to the water midstream if needed. This method allows for both stealth and satisfaction.
Bonus tip: Standing too close increases splash-back; standing too far creates more noise. Finding the perfect middle ground is key.
Why This Is a Universal Male Experience
If you’re a guy, this probably resonates with you on a deep level—even if you’ve never thought about it before. It’s one of those unspoken “man things” that just exist.
And if you’re not a guy? Well, consider this an insight into the mind of men when it comes to something as simple as peeing.
Final Thoughts: The Humor in Everyday Habits
This topic might seem ridiculous at first, but it’s a real part of male behavior that no one talks about. Whether it’s controlling the noise level, adjusting aim based on the setting, or even treating it like an unofficial game of precision, men instinctively think about this every time they step into a restroom.
Vertigo Star Kim Novak Is Spending Her 91st Birthday with ‘Friends and Lots of Fudge’ (Exclusive)
Tuesday marks the 91st birthday for Kim Novak, the star of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 film Vertigo, who walked away from Hollywood over five decades ago.
“She’s spending her birthday having a picnic on her property with friends and lots of fudge,” says her longtime manager and close friend Sue Cameron.
Life is sweet these days for Novak, who lives quietly on the Oregon coast, surrounded by her beloved horses.
In honor of her 91st birthday, read on for an interview from 2021 in which Novak shared why she left Hollywood and found her true self.
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Over 50 years ago, Kim Novak, the enigmatic star of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, walked away from Hollywood. The woman who had once been the No. 1 box office draw in the world put her belongings in a van and drove north, first to Carmel, California and then two decades later to Oregon, to live her life as an artist.
“I had to leave to survive,” she tells PEOPLE. “It was a survival issue.”
“I lost a sense of who I truly was and what I stood for,” says Novak in a rare interview to talk about her new book, Kim Novak : Her Art and Life. published by the Butler Museum of American Art.
“I fought all the time back in Hollywood to keep my identity so you do whatever you have to do to hold on to who you are and what you stand for,” she explains.
“I’ve never done one of those tell-all books that they wanted me to do for so long, and I thought this is the kind of book I’d like to do,” she says of her art book. “Actually, I had written my autobiography and it was almost complete but I had a house fire and the house burned down and I made no copies. I just couldn’t go through it again because I had spent so much time. But it was okay because it was a catharsis just to do it.”
After starring in Picnic (1955) with William Holden, The Man With the Golden Arm (1955) and Pal Joey (1957), opposite Frank Sinatra, and Vertigo, with Jimmy Stewart, Novak was at the height of her career but still under the control of the studio.
As she writes in her book’s introduction, “I was both dazzled and disturbed to see me being packaged as a Hollywood sex symbol. However, I did win my fight over identity. I wouldn’t allow [Columbia Pictures chief] Harry Cohn to take my bohemian roots away by denying me my family name. Novak. I stood my ground and won my first major battle.”
Cohn wanted her to change her name to Kit Marlowe, telling her that audiences would be turned off by her Eastern European roots. She refused. In the late ’50s, she defied him again when she began dating singer Sammy Davis Jr. against his wishes and she fought to live her life as an independent woman.
“There was constant pressure to be seen and not heard,” writes Novak, “especially if you had a pretty face.”
“In Hollywood a lot of people assume who you are, because of the character you play, but also just because of who they expect you to be, how they expect you to dress,” she says. “It influences you because if you’re in some gorgeous sequined gown, you can’t run along the ocean and run on the beaches.”
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“I kept feeling like I was going deeper and deeper, lost in almost like a quicksand, where it’s swallowing you up, your own personality, and I’d started to wonder who I am,” she explains. “I realized needed to save myself.”
She found peace living and painting in the Rogue River Valley of Oregon and notes, “I needed the Pacific Ocean to inspire me, the animals, the beauty.”
“I wanted to live a normal life and a life with animals,” says the actress, who had always loved drawing and painting as a young girl growing up in Chicago. She was awarded two scholarships to the Chicago Art Institute before she was spotted by a talent scout on a trip to L.A. and her life changed course.
Once she left Hollywood, Novak returned to her twin passions: art and animals. “My teachers were the animals, not just dogs and cats, but other animals, horses and llamas, whom you have to meet half way, because they’re not ready to accept humans. I had to learn to win them over,” she says. “They understand a person who’s genuine so I had to become more real and that made me rely on my inner self — and that also encouraged me to paint. Everything seemed to flow from that.”
“You learn how to count on, not how you look, which is a big thing as a movie star, especially if you were recognized because of how you look,” she adds. “That can be a difficult thing when you change — but looks had nothing to do with it.”
She met second husband, Robert Malloy, an equine veterinarian, in the late ’70s, when he paid her a house call to treat one of her Arabian horses. She called him her “soul mate.” He died last December.
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“I don’t feel 87,” says Novak. “I don’t keep tract of the time. If I did, I’d be an old lady and I’m not an old lady. I’m still riding my horse. I stay as healthy as I can.”
In 2012, Novak revealed she’d been living with bipolar disorder. “I don’t mind being open about who I am because these are all characteristics which make you who you are, especially as an artist,” she says. “Now, of course, I have medication for it but the best medicine of all is art.”
She’s proud of her favorite films, including Vertigo and Bell, Book and Candle (1958), and has fond memories, especially of her friend and costar Jimmy Stewart. Says Novak: “He didn’t let Hollywood change who he was.”
“People can remember me in movies but I want them to see me as an artist,” says Novak, whose paintings were exhibited at a 2019 retrospective at the Butler Museum in Youngstown, Ohio. “What’s great about painting is, you become the director too. No one’s telling you how to do it. You get to direct the whole thing.”
“I’ve been influenced a lot by Hitchcock in my work because he did mysteries and at first glance, I want my painting to be a mystery,” she says. “I love being the director, the producer, the actor in my paintings.”
“This is who I am. I want people to see I was not just a movie star.”
Looking back, Novak says, “I’m so glad I didn’t do the tell-all book, where you write all about your love life. That wasn’t who I was. This book tells who I am. I just needed to be free.”
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