I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
My daughter and Son In Law shamed me for getting a tattoo at 75. I decided to give them a lesson
Elis, 75, made the audacious and surprising decision to do something on a bright morning in New Orleans. She’d been thinking about getting a tattoo for a long now. She desired to relive her youth and greet life with renewed energy. Thus, she entered a tattoo parlor, selected a delicate pattern that represented her strength and passion for life, and had herself inked. She was so happy with the artwork on her arm that she experienced a surge of joy. She declared to the world that age was merely a number.
The Unexpected Reaction
Elis threw a modest party for her family, excited to show off her new tattoo. She hoped they would respond favorably, imagining their astonishment. Nevertheless, her daughter’s face contorted in disapproval the moment she saw the tattoo.”What in the world were you thinking, Mom?” she cried out. “Getting a tattoo at your age is not only inappropriate—it’s also embarrassing. Not some disobedient adolescent, but a respectable grandmother is what you’re meant to be. People will make fun of you because it seems stupid.Just For Illustrative UseA twinge of pain shot through Elis, but worse was to come. She laughed uncontrollably at her son-in-law, who she had always loved like her own son. He laughed till he was almost unsteady on his feet, tears rolling down his cheeks.”Mom, that’s hilarious! Between chuckles, he managed to ask, “Really, a tattoo at your age?” Elis’s heart fell. The thing that stung more than the words was the vile mockery. Their responses hurt her profoundly and made her feel ashamed.
Organizing the Ideal Refund
Elis made the decision to take her grief and use it as fuel, refusing to allow their mocking remarks and harsh comments define her. She remembered how badly her son-in-law had hurt her; a man who relied solely on her daughter and dreamed of becoming a millionaire. This was the last straw. Elis decided to impart to him a knowledge that he would never forget.Elis spent the next two days carefully organizing her retaliation. She made the decision to reveal her son-in-law’s apathy and lack of drive in a way that would shock and enlighten him. She made contact with some of her acquaintances who were talented in other fields, one of them being an outstanding actor.
The Day of Judgment
Elis carried out her plan two days later. This time, she pretended to need assistance with some home maintenance when she extended an invitation to her relatives. Reluctant to face the real world of employment, her son-in-law finally consented to attend.Elis was waiting for them when they got there, carrying a toolbox and a list of things that needed to get done. She gave her son-in-law the list, and his expression was puzzled.He was perplexed and questioned, “What’s this?”Elis remarked kindly, “I thought you could help out with these tasks.” “After all, you constantly boast about your handyness.”Just For Illustrative UseHe took a quick look at the list, which included jobs like rewiring a lamp, replacing a broken fence, and repairing the leaky faucet. Glancing around, he realized that he was incapable of doing any of these responsibilities.Elis was about to object when the actor, who was dressed like a professional contractor, showed there. After introducing himself, he started by making each task appear simple as he demonstrated how to complete it. The son-in-law, unable to keep up, watched, looking uncomfortable and ashamed as he fumbled with the tools.
An Acquired Knowledge
As the day went on, it became evident that the son-in-law was completely unable to finish even the most basic responsibilities. Elis observed with a conflicted sense of relief and sympathy. As her daughter witnessed her husband’s incapacity, she started to see how much she had been supporting his sloth.Elis’s strategy was a complete success. Her son-in-law was worn out, ashamed, and forced to face his lack of practical abilities by the end of the day. With a composed yet assertive tone, Elis drew him aside and remarked, “You laughed at me for wanting to feel young and vibrant again. But now look at you. Perhaps it’s time you matured and began accepting accountability for your actions in life.Her remarks had an impact. The incident humbled the son-in-law, who expressed regret for his actions. He committed to working hard to get better and more independent. Elis took his apology and told him that she would not put up with any more mistreatment.
Going Forward: Elis observed a shift in her son-in-law during the ensuing weeks. He started to actively work on improving himself and took on greater duties. Her daughter also began to value her mother’s fortitude and self-reliance.Elis, on the other hand, kept living her life with the same carefree attitude that inspired her to get the tattoo. She resumed going to social gatherings, took up a local fitness class, and even started dating once more. She demonstrated to herself and everyone around her that living life to the fullest was possible at any age.Elis’s audacious move had not only lifted her spirits but also resulted in a much-needed shift inside her family. She smiled every time she saw her tattoo, being reminded of the bravery and strength it took to defend herself and impart an important lesson in the process.
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