Unique divorce announcement
Dear former partner,
I trust this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. It is with mixed emotions that I communicate my decision not to return to our shared abode. Reflecting on our seven years together, it is evident that change is inevitable, and in this case, it is necessary for both of us.
The recent fortnight has been quite tumultuous, culminating in a decisive moment when your manager called to inform me of your abrupt resignation. Upon your return home a week ago, my attempt to surprise you with your favorite dish and a fresh haircut went unnoticed. Clad in a pair of brand-new silk boxers, I hoped to rekindle the connection we once shared.
Regrettably, you devoured the meal in record time, indulged in your television dramas, and retired to bed without acknowledging the effort I put into the evening. Our communication has dwindled, expressions of love have become scarce, and our intimacy is but a distant memory. Whether this stems from infidelity or a loss of affection, I have chosen to part ways.
Wishing you a fulfilling journey ahead, your former partner.
P.S. Please refrain from attempting to locate me; your sister and I have decided to start anew in West Virginia. May life bring you joy.
To my previous spouse,
Your letter has undeniably added a touch of humor to my day. Despite the seven years of marriage, your perception of yourself as a kind and wonderful man hasn’t always aligned with reality.
Television dramas have been my escape from the constant complaints, although their effectiveness is inconsistent.
I did notice your new haircut last week, though my initial thought was that it had a surprisingly feminine touch!
My preference for TV dramas aside, I had to keep quiet about your attempt at preparing my favorite dinner since I gave up pork seven years ago. As for the silk boxers, the $49.99 price tag raised an eyebrow, especially considering my sister borrowed $50 from me that very morning.
Despite our differences, I held on to the belief that our love could endure. Imagine my surprise when, following my $10 million lottery win, I returned home to find you gone.
Everything happens for a reason, and I genuinely hope you find the fulfilling life you’ve always sought. Please be aware that, as per my attorney, you won’t be receiving any money from me.
Wishing you luck on your journey, your ex-wife, liberated and prosperous.
P.S. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, my sister Carla was born Carl. I trust this revelation won’t pose any issues.
One morning they saw a mysterious pit forming in their garden…
As Emma James diligently mowed the front yard with her lawnmower, an unexpected discovery halted her routine, a mysterious hole in the ground. Over the course of the day, this innocuous pit expanded steadily, reaching an unexpected depth of 2 meters. Adding to the intrigue, the hole contained a peculiar surprise, weathered, rusty steps.
Although the dimensions of the pit currently preclude any person from venturing inside, authorities harbor suspicions that the unearthed tunnel beneath the James’ property might connect to a canal concealed 35 years ago.
Seeking answers, the couple reached out to the construction company responsible for erecting their home in 1984. Unfortunately, the company could not shed light on the tunnel’s destination.
Expressing her bewilderment, Emma remarked: “It’s truly perplexing, these steps leading downward, yet no indication of their purpose or a cover to conceal them. Beneath lies a mixture of cement and rusty metal. We’re eager for someone to inspect and elucidate; I’m not comfortable leaving such an enigma in my backyard”.
Despite the local council’s assertion that the tunnel leads to a drain sealed off three decades ago, skepticism lingers with the homeowners. They remain unconvinced until an official examination is conducted. Frustratingly, despite assurances from authorities, no one has undertaken the task of a thorough investigation.
The homeowners fervently hope that another cavity won’t materialize, posing a potential hazard. Reluctantly, and in the absence of concrete answers, they’ve resorted to cautionary signs to prevent any unsuspecting individuals from stumbling into the mysterious void.
The James family remains in suspense, yearning for resolution and clarity about the clandestine underground structure that has disrupted their peaceful property.
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