Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My Neighbor Knocked on My Door with Tears in Her Eyes – ‘Your Husband Is a Monster,’ She Cried
The knock was urgent, desperate, like someone fleeing for their life. When I opened the door, my neighbor stood there, her face streaked with tears. What she said next didn’t just shake me — it destroyed me.
That day started like any other, with no sign of the chaos that was about to turn my world upside down. It was my day off, and I was finally getting some much-needed time to myself.
Woman relaxing at home with a glass of wine | Source: Midjourney
My husband, Andrew, had already left for work, and our two kids, Mia and Ethan, were at school. I enjoyed the silence as I cleaned the house, blissfully unaware of the storm heading my way.
Andrew and I had been married for twelve years. He was the kind of man who turned heads at social events—charming, confident, and always dressed to impress.
As a manager at the same mid-sized company where I worked as the HR person, he was well-respected and admired by colleagues. To the outside world, we had the perfect life: two steady incomes, two healthy kids, and a beautiful home in a quiet suburb.
Mother and her children enjoying picnic | Source: Midjourney
But as I look back now, I wonder if the perfection was just a façade—if I had been blind all along.
Andrew could be intense. He was possessive, though he masked it well. At parties, he would casually slide an arm around my waist and steer me away from conversations he deemed “too friendly.” If I wore something he thought was too revealing, he’d laugh it off but say something like, “That dress is for my eyes only, right?”
I brushed it off at the time, convincing myself it was his way of showing he cared. After all, he could be incredibly thoughtful, too. He never missed an anniversary or birthday, always showering me with flowers, jewelry, or handwritten notes that made me feel cherished.
Couple having a romantic dinner | Source: Midjourney
But then there was the flirting. Andrew had an effortless charm that drew people to him, and he knew it. He’d flash that disarming smile at waitresses, neighbors, and even my coworkers. And whenever I brought it up, he’d tilt his head, look genuinely hurt, and say, “Emma, you know you’re the only one for me.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe we had something special. So I ignored the small cracks—the late-night work meetings, the occasional phone call he’d step outside to take. It was easier to trust him than to face the possibility that my instincts might be right.
But the truth? The truth was waiting, just on the other side of that knock at my door.
Wooden white door | Source: Pexels
Just as I was finishing vacuuming the living room, an ear-splitting bang shook me out of my thoughts. Someone was pounding on the door like their life depended on it.
When I opened it, I found my neighbor, Melissa, standing there. She was shaking and had tears streaming down her face. Melissa was usually the epitome of poise — a 35-year-old woman who worked in PR and always seemed calm under pressure. But now she was a complete mess.
Woman standing on the door | Source: Midjourney
“Melissa? What happened?” I asked, my heart already racing.
Before she could answer, I noticed movement behind her. About 30 feet away, sprinting toward the house, was my husband, Andrew. The same Andrew who was supposed to be at work. His face was pale, his tie out of line, and he looked furious.
Man in a suit running | Source: Midjourney
“YOUR HUSBAND IS A MONSTER!” Melissa screamed, her voice cracking as she clutched the doorframe.
“What the hell is going on?!” I shouted back, caught between confusion and dread.
Melissa grabbed my arm and yanked me inside, slamming the door shut behind her.
“You need to listen to me,” she said, her voice trembling. “This isn’t something I can stay silent about anymore.”
Andrew’s fists pounded on the door. “Open up, Emma! Whatever she’s saying, it’s not true!”
But the fear in Melissa’s eyes told me otherwise.
Sad woman standing on the door | Source: Midjourney
“Start talking,” I demanded, my voice low but firm.
She took a deep breath, as though gathering every ounce of courage she had.
“Emma, I’m… I’m Andrew’s mistress.”
The words hit me like a truck.
“I’m sorry, what?” I said my voice barely above a whisper.
“For two years now,” she continued, her words tumbling out in a rush. “He told me he was going to leave you. He said he loved me. I believed him.”
A sad woman | Source: Midjourney
“Melissa, stop,” I said, shaking my head. “This can’t be true. You’re lying.”
“I wish I were,” she said, her eyes welling up again. “But I have proof. Texts. Photos. And… and I’m pregnant, Emma. A month ago, he promised he’d be there for me, for the baby.”
I staggered back, trying to process what she was saying. My stomach churned as the reality began to sink in.
“Pregnant?” I managed to choke out.
“Yes,” she said, her voice breaking. “And today, he told me that he won’t leave you or the kids. Instead, he offered me fifty thousand dollars to have the baby and give it up to a shelter.”
Women having a serious conversation | Source: Midjourney
Andrew’s pounding on the door grew louder.
“She’s lying!” he shouted. “Don’t listen to her!”
Melissa flinched at the sound of his voice but pressed on. “I couldn’t stay silent after that. I couldn’t let him manipulate me anymore. You deserve to know who he really is.”
My knees gave way, and I sank onto the couch. My mind was racing, but every thought was like a jagged shard cutting deeper into me. This couldn’t be happening. Not Andrew. Not the man I had built my life with.
“Show me,” I said, my voice barely audible.
Woman reading a text on phone | Source: Midjourney
Melissa hesitated, then pulled out her phone. She opened a folder filled with photos and screenshots of texts. There he was — Andrew — smiling at her in selfies, sending her messages about how much he missed her, and promising her a future together.
My throat tightened as I scrolled through the damning evidence.
Behind the door, Andrew’s voice turned desperate. “Emma, please! Let me in! Let me explain!”
I stood up and walked to the door, my hands shaking. I didn’t open it but leaned against it, speaking through the wood.
“Andrew,” I said, my voice cold and steady, “is it true?”
There was a long pause. Then, in a voice that was barely a whisper, he said, “I can explain.”
Man knocking on the door | Source: Midjourney
That was all the confirmation I needed.
“You need to leave,” I said. “Now.”
“Emma, please! Let me —”
“Leave, Andrew!” I shouted, my anger finally boiling over. “If you don’t, I’m calling the cops.”
There was a moment of silence, followed by the sound of his footsteps retreating.
Melissa was still standing in the living room, looking like a ghost.
“I’m so sorry,” she said again, her voice thick with emotion before leaving.
Woman having a conversation | Source: Midjourney
As the door clicked shut, a flood of memories rushed to the surface—moments I had once dismissed but now made chilling sense. The sudden, unexplained phone calls he’d step outside to take, saying, “It’s just business.”
Even the nights he came home smelling faintly of perfume, brushing it off a quick excuse, “The office is full of strong fragrances today.”
How had I ignored it all?
Sad woman | Source: Midjourney
The weight of betrayal settled heavily on my chest. This was the man I had trusted with my heart, my life, my family. My hands shook as I dialed my lawyer, tears blurring my vision. It wasn’t just my marriage that had crumbled—it was the illusion of the life we had built together.
I had been so blind, and now, there was no going back.
Sad woman | Source: Midjourney
The days after that fateful knock felt like walking through a storm. Andrew called constantly, left messages, and even showed up outside the house. He begged, pleaded, and tried to worm his way back into my good graces, but it was too late.
I’ll never forget the first time he showed up unannounced after I’d filed for divorce. It was a rainy evening, the kind where the sky felt heavy and everything seemed muted.
A person walking on the road on a rainy day | Source: Midjourney
I had just tucked the kids into bed when the doorbell rang. Peering through the peephole, I saw him standing there, soaked to the bone, clutching a bouquet of wilted roses.
“Emma, please. Just hear me out,” he said as soon as I cracked the door open.
“There’s nothing to say, Andrew,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
“I made a mistake,” he said, his voice trembling. “I was stupid. Selfish. I don’t want to lose you or the kids. I’ll do anything to fix this.”
Guilty man regretting his actions | Source: Midjourney
I stepped outside, pulling the door shut behind me so the kids wouldn’t hear.
“Anything? Andrew, you lied to me for two years. You cheated, manipulated, and betrayed me. You didn’t just hurt me — you jeopardized our entire family.”
“I know,” he said, tears streaming down his face. “But I can change. I swear I can. I’ll go to therapy. I’ll quit my job if that’s what it takes. Just… give me a chance, Emma. Please.”
A man begging his wife for forgiveness | Source: Midjourney
I stared at him, the man I had once loved, and felt nothing but emptiness. His desperation might have moved me months ago, but now it was just too little, too late.
“Andrew,” I said quietly, “you didn’t just betray me. You destroyed the trust and respect this family was built on. You don’t come back from that.”
For a moment, he looked like he might argue, but then his shoulders slumped. “So that’s it?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
Couple talking | Source: Midjourney
“That’s it,” I said, walking back to the door.
“Emma,” he called after me, his voice breaking.
I turned around one last time. “The kids will always have a father. But I don’t have a husband anymore.”
And with that, I went inside and locked the door.
Stressed out woman leaning by the window | Source: Midjourney
The days that followed were a blur of tears, anger, and endless legal meetings. My lawyer was ruthless, ensuring that I got a fair share of Andrew’s assets. Andrew fought back at first, but the evidence Melissa provided was undeniable. In the end, I was granted the house, full custody of the kids, and a hefty amount of alimony.
As for Andrew, he moved into a small apartment across town. We agreed on co-parenting so he still sees Mia and Ethan on weekends, but they’re starting to understand that their father isn’t the man they thought he was.
Man moving into a small appartment | Source: Midjourney
Melissa kept her distance after that day. I think she knew she had done enough damage by showing up at my door, but I didn’t hold it against her. In a way, she had freed me from a lie I had been living without even realizing it.
I’m still picking up the pieces of my life, but I’m stronger now. The betrayal cut deep, but it also taught me something invaluable: I deserve better.
Woman in deep thoughts | Source: Midjourney
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another you might like: My neighbor exposed my husband and his best female friend at our home, only to reveal she was the one at fault.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided as “is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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