My mother had a clear favorite her entire life, while I was raised by my grandparents mostly. When she got old and sick, I helped financially but refused to do more than that for a crucial reason.
While most good parents would tell you that they don’t have a favorite, my mother was not ashamed to tell me that my brother, Stanley, was her golden boy. My father walked out of our family because caring for two children became too much.
In the end, my mother blamed me for it. “He wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you,” she told me one day. I was just a child at the time and only wanted my mother’s love.
“But that’s not my fault,” I replied. “I didn’t ask to be born.”
“Don’t talk back to me! I’m the parent, and you’re the kid, so shut up,” she finished. We would have similar conversations through the years whenever she was mad at me. Finally, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandparents.
They felt so bad that our father had walked away from our lives that they took me in and gave me all the love I never received at home. That’s how I learned that the word family has lots of meanings.
All I heard about my mother and brother over the years was that she helped him with everything. He got into some trouble with the police, and my mother paid all his legal fees. Eventually, she had to sell her house and pay for his apartment.
Stanley was spoiled and couldn’t hold down a job, but my mother coddled him. Meanwhile, my grandparents didn’t have much money, but they gave me everything they could. I had to work to afford my college and my home.
I learned a whole ton of responsibility, and when I graduated, I got a pretty decent job. That’s where I met my husband, Lawrence. We had two daughters whom I cherished equally. When my grandparents got sick, I was there for them until the very end.
They gave me their house, and one of my daughters moved there when she got married. Unfortunately, my husband died shortly after her wedding. She asked me to live with her, but I wanted to stay in our home.
I didn’t hear from my brother or my mother for many years. They didn’t care about me at all, so why should I care about them? But one day, Stanley called. “Hello?” I answered the phone.
“Hey, Brooke. It’s Stanley. How are you?” my brother said through the other line.
“Oh, hey, Stanley. Long time, no speak. I’m fine. How about you?” I replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I’m calling because Mom broke her hip. I need your help,” Stanley continued.
“Oh, that’s too bad. Is she ok?” I asked.
“She’s fine. It’s just that the hospital bill will be pretty expensive, and I need help paying for it. She’s our mother after all,” he explained.
“Oh, well. Ok. Give me the details, and I’ll send some money,” I told him. My husband and I had accumulated decent savings, so I could afford to send Stanley some money for whatever our mother needed.
“That’s great, Brooke. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later,” Stanley said and hung up. I didn’t feel any obligation to my mother, but I wasn’t heartless. I sent him the money and forgot about it until a week later when my brother called again.
“Hey, Brooke!” Stanley started.
“Hey. How did everything go?” I asked.
“The operation for her hip went well, but the doctor just told me she’s going to need tons of rehab and round-the-clock care. I was wondering when you could come to pick her up?” my brother asked.
“What do you mean pick her up?” I probed, confused.
“I told you. She needs someone to take care of her. I’ve been by her side our whole lives. It’s time you take responsibility, Brooke. I can’t watch her,” Stanley added.
“Excuse me? Responsibility? Mom sent me to live with our grandparents because she hated me, and you were her golden boy. She essentially abandoned me,” I snapped.
“Please. Stop the melodrama. You need to step up because she needs you. She gave you life. You owe her,” Stanley demanded.
“No. I don’t owe her anything. I needed my mother when I was growing up, and she refused. She gave all her love to you, so you will need to figure out something. I gave you money for her hospital bills out of the goodness of my heart, but I won’t be her caretaker,” I told him.
“YOU’RE HORRIBLE, BROOKE! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? I CAN’T WATCH HER!” Stanley started screaming through the phone.
“Honestly, I don’t care, Stanley. You don’t get to call me horrible. I was a kid when she abandoned me, and my grandparents became my REAL PARENTS. Don’t call me again!” I finished and hung up the call.
Stanley tried calling, texting, e-mailing, and more for several days, but I blocked him. He also tried contacting my daughters, but they refused to listen to him. They knew my history with that side of the family.
Of course, Stanley and my mother bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I have been severely judged for my decision, but I didn’t listen to their criticism. After all, no one ever judged my mother for what she did to me.
What can we learn from this story?
- Caring for your loved ones is important. While Brooke’s choice is controversial, it’s easy to understand her point of view, given her background.
- Forgiveness is divine. Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person. Caring for your parents when they’re old is a big duty, both financially and emotionally. Someone has to do it.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a mother who left her disabled daughter at an orphanage.
A BOY WAS SELLING HIS TOYS — THEN THE COMMUNITY STEPPED IN.
The morning air was crisp with the promise of a new day. George and I, bundled in our warmest coats, were on our usual walk, enjoying the quiet of our suburban street. The sun, a shy sliver peeking through the clouds, cast long shadows across the lawns. As we passed apartment building number 7, something caught my eye.
A small figure huddled beside a makeshift table, a handwritten sign propped against a stack of toys. Curiosity piqued, I approached the boy. He couldn’t have been more than eight years old, his face a mixture of determination and sadness.
“What are you doing?” I asked gently.
The boy, with eyes the color of a stormy sea, looked up at me. “Selling my toys,” he said, his voice small but resolute. “To help my dog.”
My heart sank. “Your dog?” I asked, confused.
He nodded, his lip trembling slightly. “My parents… they can’t afford to keep him anymore. They might have to take him to the shelter.”
The words hung heavy in the air. This child, barely out of toddlerhood, was facing a hardship that no child should ever have to bear. George, ever the pragmatist, gently inquired about the prices of the toys. They were ridiculously low, a testament to the boy’s desperation.
We couldn’t just walk away. We “bought” a few of his toys, though we had no intention of keeping them. Instead, we returned home with a renewed sense of purpose. We started knocking on doors, sharing the boy’s story with our neighbors. The response was immediate and overwhelming.
Mrs. Garibaldi, the elderly woman who always had a jar of cookies on her windowsill, donated a generous sum, her eyes brimming with tears. Mr. Thompson, the gruff gardener with a soft spot for animals, offered to mow the family’s lawn for the next month. Children, their faces alight with concern, emptied their piggy banks, their contributions ranging from a few coins to a dollar bill clutched tightly in their small hands.
News of the boy’s plight spread through the neighborhood like wildfire. Within hours, a small “fund” for the dog’s care had materialized. We dropped off the contributions that evening, a small bag overflowing with cash and good wishes.
The boy’s face, when he saw the money, was a picture of disbelief. His eyes widened, then welled up with tears. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. “Thank you so much.” His parents, initially hesitant, were overcome with gratitude.
As we walked away, a sense of warmth filled my heart. It was a reminder that even in the face of adversity, the human spirit could shine through. The simple act of kindness, of reaching out to a neighbor in need, had created a ripple effect of compassion and support.
That evening, as I tucked my own children into bed, I told them about the little boy and his dog. I explained that sometimes, even the smallest acts of kindness could make a big difference. “Remember,” I said, “we’re all connected. We’re all part of a community, and we need to look out for each other.”
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of birdsong and the gentle patter of rain. The memory of the boy’s grateful smile warmed my heart. It was a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope, and that the kindness of strangers can truly make a difference.
That day, I went about my business with a renewed sense of purpose, determined to be more mindful of the needs of those around me. The world, I realized, was full of small acts of heroism, waiting to be discovered. And in the quiet moments, I would remember the little boy and his dog, a testament to the enduring power of compassion and the unwavering kindness of the human spirit.
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