At 37, I thought I could finally date in peace until my Mom crashed dinner with a list of rules… and somehow ended up on a date with my boyfriend.
I always knew I had a mom. But sometimes, it felt like my mom was my whole life. I was 37, but that didn’t stop her from asking me every single day:
“Are you wearing warm socks?” or “Are you sure he looked at you with respect and not… interest?”
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I worked in a museum, adored art history, lived in my own apartment, had a bank account, and had two degrees… Yet every time I saw “Mom calling” on my phone, I instinctively straightened my posture.
She controlled everything. From when I should go to bed to what color I painted my nails.
Once, I ordered salmon delivery, and 20 minutes later, she called.
“I saw him go into your house. Was that him?”
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“Mom, are you spying on my house?”
“I just sat in the car nearby. In case of suspicious movement.”
She had binoculars. And a notebook. She called it “just in case.”
As a child, it was cute. At 20, it got annoying. By 30, I began to question our “normal.”
At 37, I met Theo.
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For the first time in my life, I didn’t tell her right away.
It was my first grown-up secret. And, of course, it lasted exactly three days. Until Mom ruined everything.
But I’ll tell you that in a moment.
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***
I was preparing for my dinner with Theo. I baked a pie I found online, not from Mom’s sacred recipe book.
Even if it came out a bit burnt and the chicken was a little dry — those were my mistakes. My life.
I could already imagine my mother’s face if she saw the meal — a guaranteed explosion. I smiled quietly to myself while checking the candles.
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A week earlier, she declared, “I want to meet him. In person. At my house. At the table. With my questions.”
“Mom, let me be an adult for once. I’ll decide when to introduce you.”
She backed off for once. It felt odd, but I didn’t think much of it. Big mistake.
That night, Theo came over for the first time. He brought tulips, non-alcoholic wine (knowing I was tired after work), and a cake from the bakery I always visit during lunch.
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“I just wanted to get everything right,” he smiled, setting the plates.
“Theo, with you, it always feels right.”
Something warm and calm bloomed in my chest. We talked for hours. Laughed. Dreamed.
“Imagine… a little house by an old lighthouse,” he said.
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“And in the basement — an archive of old love letters.”
“You’d preserve them, and I’d write new ones.”
Candles were burning low. Music hummed softly. He touched my hand.
“I thought after all the heartbreaks, nothing would ever happen again. And then you came along…”
And at that exact moment…
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“ACHOO!”
From the closet. We froze.
“You’re not alone?” Theo shot me a look.
I got up. Opened the closet.
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“Mooom?!”
She sat in the dark. With a headlamp. And a thermos.
“What… what are you doing?!”
“Oh, hi! I was just checking if you’re storing things in your closet without lavender,” she mumbled, not even trying to sound convincing.
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“You broke into my apartment?!”
“I was just making sure. Listening. Evaluating. I didn’t interfere!”
Theo, somehow, still managed to smile politely.
“Good evening. I’m Theo. Very nice to meet you.”
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“Theo. Short. Like most male patients,” Mom said, sitting on the couch. “Sit. Let’s get to know each other.”
I wanted to run. But Theo sat down. Bravely.
And the interrogation began.
“Do you have a job?”
“Yes. I teach literature…”
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“Do you work 9 to 5?”
“Flexible hours.”
“So, no structure. Got it. Do you drink alcohol?”
“A glass of wine, sometimes…”
“Sometimes means regularly.”
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“Mom…”
“Quiet, Eliza. I’m asking.”
Then she turned back to him again, “How many women before my daughter?”
“I… excuse me?”
“Are you deaf?”
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“No, I just think that’s a bit…”
“You should always think. Before approaching a woman with serious intentions.”
Theo looked at me. As if to ask, “Is this a joke?”
I tried to say with my eyes, “No. This is my life.”
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Mom stood up. “Now, a test.”
“What?” we both said.
“Wipe the table. With a sponge. No streaks. If there’s even one mark — you’re not for her.”
“Mom, enough!”
I was desperate and angry. But to my greatest surprise…
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Theo stood up, went to the kitchen, found the sponge… and wiped. It was perfect. She checked the surface and ran her finger across.
“Hmm. Survived. For now.”
Then, Mom dramatically handed Theo a paper. He smiled while skimming it, then slowly, he frowned before handing it to me.
“I think I should go. I’ll call you.”
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He left. Just like that. I finally looked down at the letters she wrote in thick black marker.
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGTER
1. Have a job.
2. Understand I don’t like you.
3. I am EVERYWHERE.
4. You make HER cry — I make YOU cry.
5. Be home 30 min early.
6. SHE is my PRINCESS. Not your conquest.
7. I don’t mind going to jail.
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Daugter. With a typo. That said it all.
“Mom, it’s time for you to go.”
“Oh, sweetie, if he leaves at the first sign of trouble, is he even a man?”
“He didn’t leave me. He said he’d call.”
“Same thing.”
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“Maybe he just didn’t enjoy being around you?”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You crossed the line, Mom! Please, leave. I want to be alone.”
Mom’s words echoed in my head.
Has Theo really left… forever?
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***
Three days passed. No texts. No calls. I caved and sent him a short message:
“I’m sorry for how everything went. You didn’t deserve that.”
Seen. No reply.
And then — a knock at the door. I opened it, my heart racing. It was him and he was there with flowers.
“Come on. I’ve planned a date… for you and your Mom.”
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I blinked. “What?”
“Just trust me.”
We picked up my Mom. She barely got in the car before starting her usual commentary.
“Where are we going? I have to defrost the freezer!”
“Surprise,” Theo smiled.
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The first stop? His lecture.
Mom and I sat in the back. Theo stood in front of a class full of students, talking about love in literature.
“To be with someone doesn’t always feel poetic. But it’s always worth it.”
“Oh, I might fall asleep here,” Mom whispered.
“Mom. Shhh.”
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“If he’s trying to seduce us both with lectures — he failed.”
I gave her a look. But I held on. I knew this wasn’t all Theo had planned.
Next stop — a boat ride. On the lake, with a plaid blanket, strawberries, and tea in a thermos. (Yes, the exact tea Mom liked. He remembered.)
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“Yet another romantic coma,” Mom muttered, but this time, she was chuckling.
As we floated, Theo turned to her gently.
“So, Barbara. What are your hobbies?”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Hobbies? Suspicion. Avoiding scams. Crosswords when I can’t sleep.”
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“I bet you’re good at them.”
“I once found three typos in The New York Times. Sent them a letter. And you didn’t find one.”
“You planted that typo?”
“Of course, sweetie — it was a test for your Theo.”
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“A test? For spelling? Mom, he’s a university professor!”
“No, more like a test for politeness,” she smirked. “He passed.”
Then she leaned to move closer to the edge… and slipped.
SPLASH.
She fell right into the water. I gasped. Then, she laughed so hard I nearly joined her.
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“YOU LAUGHING? I COULD DROWN!”
Theo jumped in without hesitation. Swam straight to her, helped her out, and wrapped her in a blanket. Soaked, shivering, furious — but secretly touched. Back on land, she was about to stomp away.
“I need to go home. I’m done.”
Theo calmly said, “There’s a sports store nearby. Time for a wardrobe refresh.”
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He disappeared. Came back ten minutes later with two matching athletic outfits. One for me. One for Mom. She held hers suspiciously.
“How did you guess my size?”
“Easy. You’re built perfectly for a Medium. Athletic and classic.”
She smiled. Barely. Quietly. But I saw it. She loved attention.
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We changed. And then — the climbing wall.
“Last challenge, I promise,” Theo grinned. “Climbing wall. One climbs, the other keeps the rope. Trust exercise.”
“Oh no. I’m 60!”
“Exactly. Perfect age for adventure.”
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To my absolute shock, Mom went first. Halfway up, she shouted:
“THEO! IF I FALL — I’M HAUNTING YOU!”
She didn’t fall. She reached the top. And when she came down, her eyes were gleaming.
“Okay, professor. Not bad.”
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“To end the day,” Theo said, “I’d like to make you both dinner. My place.”
Mom looked at me. “I have no choice. I need to see where this man lives. Maybe I’ll discover his secret lair.”
***
Theo’s house was beautiful. Clean. Warm. It smelled like citrus and cedar. I’d never been there before. And I was stunned.
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“Did you buy this on a teacher’s salary or rob a bank?” Mom asked, peeking into the kitchen.
“Started saving in high school. Plus I teach online courses on the side. Hard work pays off.”
“Well, look at you,” she muttered. Then, louder, “Does the fridge clean itself, or are you just this weird?”
Theo just laughed.
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We sat on the terrace. Theo grilled steaks nearby while the sun dipped low. Mom leaned back. Actually relaxed.
“You know… he’s not so bad, honey.”
“Really? Wow. Mom, you’re on fire today.”
“I was too distrustful. Because your father left. And I didn’t want you to get burned like I did.”
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“But Mom, it’s my life. I need to make my own mistakes. Walk my own path.”
“Theo is wonderful. It’s obvious he loves you. I mean, he jumped in a lake to save his future mother-in-law.”
We both laughed.
“And he could’ve dropped me on that climbing wall. But he didn’t. That’s some nerve control.”
Theo joined us, carrying two plates.
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“Hungry?”
“Always,” Mom said.
“Even for this? Because I have one more course.”
Theo knelt on one knee.
“Eliza, these past three months have been the best of my life. You’ve brought color back into everything. And your mom… we’re friends now.”
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“Almost,” Mom added.
“Not even the rule list could scare me away. I want to share my home, my life… all of it. And yes, even see your mom — but no more than twice a week.”
He laughed. I gasped.
“Will you marry me?”
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I blinked. Heart racing.
“Sweetheart,” Mom nudged me. “I’d have said yes already.”
“YES. Of course — yes!”
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***
Mom changed.
She started Pilates, bought her first floral swimsuit, and we no longer lived in a co-dependent loop. We were separate but always family.
Finally, our coffee dates felt like chats between old friends.
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She told me about her fitness class. I told her how Theo’d forgotten to take out the trash and called it a “creative delay.”
I finally became myself. And I think — she also did.
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After 27 hours, his wife gave birth to a baby girl, and the man received the news that caused him to fall to his knees.
This is a love story that is equally lovely and painful. When they first met, fell in love, and had a kid, Liz passed away in childbirth. Matt’s actions following her passing were really inspiring.
High school students Liz Goodman and Matt Logelin first crossed paths at a gas station one sunny afternoon. Both of them were raised in Minnetonka, Minnesota, but their chance encounter marked the beginning of a real love story.
Senior year of high school was when Liz and Matt met. Fireworks sparked when she walked up to Matt after he caught her eye; the two became inseparable… up till the start of college.
As graduation drew near, the high school sweethearts had to face the fact that they were attending colleges in different parts of the country! In contrast to Matt, who remained at the University of Minnesota, Liz was traveling to California.
For this couple, who persisted and stuck together throughout their studies, the distance was nothing. Matt continued on to get his master’s degree at Loyola University of Chicago. He was contemplating getting a Ph.D. when he realized he needed to follow his heart and not his mind.
Matt was aware that he could no longer stand to be so far from his love. In order to be with Liz, he moved halfway across the nation to Los Angeles in 2005, packing his stuff.
From then on, the two proceeded to enjoy their lives to the utmost. While traveling, Liz and Matt explored new places, made memories, and deepened their understanding of one another and the world they lived in. It was just a matter of time until Matt realized that this was it and got down on one knee in Nepal to ask Liz to marry him.
In front of their friends and family, they exchanged vows to love one another forever on August 13, 2005. Seeing these lovers grab life and their love by the horns was exhilarating. For the young couple, everything seems to be going great.
They were not just happier than ever in their romantic relationships, but also in their professional lives. Liz worked as a financial professional at Disney, while Matt was a project manager at Yahoo! in California. The two decided to buy a house jointly to take advantage of their newly discovered financial security. From then, everything just got better.
After two years of marriage in 2007, the couple decided to grow their family, and they were thrilled to find out Liz was carrying their first child!
Since many of Liz and Matt’s friends and family members reside in Minnesota, they were unable to accompany them on their amazing journey to parenthood. The soon-to-be parents made the decision to take action and launched a blog to inform their loved ones of Liz’s pregnancy progress.
The journey appeared bright and joyful for the happy couple as they anticipated their first child, but Liz had a tough pregnancy. The doctors advised her to spend a few weeks in bed since she had excruciating morning sickness.
Matt kept a close eye on her since he was anxious about his wife carrying his child. It was distressing to see Liz, who is often active and energetic, confined to her bed. After that, she was taken to the hospital and told to stay in bed for a few more weeks. Matt monitored their newly launched blog about being pregnant throughout the entire incident. He had no clue what he would soon publish on that specific website.
Since Liz’s pregnancy was considered high risk, she was brought to the delivery room twice, each time at least 7 weeks early owing to false alarms. The doctors kept a careful eye on her since they didn’t want to take any chances.
The baby’s arrival into the world was finally ready. Liz was still two months early, necessitating an urgent C-section. The lives of Matt and Liz Logelin were about to undergo a significant change on March 24, 2008.
The couple welcomed Madeline (Maddy) Logelin into their family after the surgery proceeded without a problem. When she was born, she weighed barely 3 pounds, 14 ounces. Since the new parents were thrilled, Liz only had a brief opportunity to see their beautiful baby girl (photographed). The medical workers hastened to get her to the newborn critical care unit since she was born early.
Due to Liz needing to be kept under observation for a further 24 hours after giving birth, she was unable to hold their daughter straight away. Once everything was through, Liz was prepared and eager to meet her baby girl who was now awake and well. She started to ride in a wheelchair to the ward.
Matt couldn’t wait to have both of his girls in his arms, so he was there to assist his wife in their stroll around the room before they entered the ward. They were about to have the mother-child quality time they had all been looking forward to. Disaster then struck.
When his wife slouched in his arms and muttered, “I feel light-headed,” Matt gently and tenderly helped her into the wheelchair. In an effort to calm Matt, the nurses explained that it was common for women to faint after giving birth.
Matt patiently recalled, “All of a sudden, there’s this ‘code blue,’ and people are running by me.” He broke down in tears. She would never be able to hold her kid since she would pass away in this hospital that day.
Only 27 hours, or slightly more than a day after giving birth to their daughter Madeline, doctors learned that a deadly clot had gone to Liz’s lungs and caused a rare, fatal pulmonary embolism. Liz passed away at the young age of 30, only hours after giving birth to a child, from a fatal embolism. Matt was left a widower one day after becoming a parent.
In only one day, Matt went from feeling on top of the world to fearing for his life. He was devastated. The pregnancy blog was meant to be filled with images of the growing family, but instead, his subsequent essay was only about melancholy.
The first several weeks were the worst Matt had ever experienced. Every Tuesday at exactly 3:11 p.m., his thoughts would return to that fateful moment when his life changed irrevocably because he couldn’t bear to take off his wedding ring. At times, he openly questioned how he would manage in his new life without Liz at his side.
There were challenges in getting back home. There were sour reminders of Liz everywhere Matt turned. When guests asked about the baby’s mother, Matt would frank and openly reply, “She passed on the day after the kid was born,”. Even leaving the house was tough.
The only consolation Matt felt in those early days as a widower was the knowledge that his young daughter needed him and the notion that a portion of his cherished wife lived on in Madeline.
Matt was determined that he would give his daughter the finest upbringing possible despite his sadness. He’s seeking for a way to express his feelings of dread and anguish. He started posting on a parenting discussion board hosted by his hometown newspaper, The Minnesota Star Tribune. But it didn’t end there.
Maddy Logelin turned 10 years old on March 24th, 2018. Ten years had passed since her mother Liz’s terrible death at the same anniversary. Her father, family, and friends have done all in their can to encircle her with love and happiness despite her horrific history.
Matt has made his blog’s details more private as Maddy has aged. The instant Madeline shouts “stop,” it is over. “The plug will be pulled,” he would always guarantee. Over the years, Maddy has learned about her mother via stories and pictures, and her interest in her has only increased.
One day she naively questioned, “Daddy, did you grasp my mommy’s hand when she died?” She frequently asks her father questions about the activities he and her late mother used to do
Despite his best efforts to be honest and explain things to his little daughter, Matt remarked, “What I said will never take away what happened that day.” After the talk, Maddy remarked, “Daddy, I love you,” which Matt later said she understood precisely what he needed to hear. I also love you, Maddy,” he said.
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