My story is about how my ex-husband’s girlfriend realized a truth about him that I grew too comfortable with while married to him. With one important question, his new girlfriend taught me a valuable lesson about self-love after reaching out unexpectedly.
I’ve been divorced for five years now, and it’s been an interesting journey navigating life post-marriage. My ex-husband, Ben, 48, and I, 45, were together for 13 years and had two wonderful kids. Even after our split, we’ve managed to stay on good terms.
We co-parent effectively despite our marriage having its ups and downs. Ben and I are best friends and have also maintained a friendship that surprises most people. Our divorce wasn’t messy; we simply wanted different things out of life.
Yesterday was our eldest’s 16th birthday, and we decided to celebrate with a family dinner. Ben has been seeing someone new, a woman named Lisa, for about four months. He told me about her as soon as their relationship got serious.
Transparency was part of our agreement to keep things open and honest for the sake of our children. He asked if he could bring Lisa to the birthday dinner, and while I wasn’t thrilled as I would have preferred to meet her one-on-one first, I didn’t want to cause any drama or be intrusive. So, I agreed.
On that fateful day, I finally got to meet Lisa who was friendly, and eager to make a good impression, which was a relief. I preferred her to be a good person if she was going to be around my children.
She’s got a kind smile and she immediately struck up a conversation with me about the kids’ school and activities. I could tell she was trying hard to fit in, which I appreciated.
As the evening went on, I noticed how attentive Lisa was to Ben. It was sweet but also a little unsettling because I never saw that side of him during our marriage. I chalked it up to new relationship energy and tried to focus on the kids and the celebration.
Halfway through dinner, things got weird when my eldest handed me a birthday card from her father. This caught me off guard because my birthday was months ago. No one usually remembers it, and Ben has never been one to recall such occasions.
Don’t get me wrong, my children’s father is a great man. But he’s really terrible with things like anniversaries, birthdays, or any special occasions. During all the years we were together, Ben never got me a present or card.
It was also my responsibility to handle events like the kids’ birthdays, Christmas, and more. I don’t know if I was wrong for this, but his forgetfulness didn’t bother me. I thanked my daughter, feeling touched by the gesture.
Lisa, sitting across from me, saw my surprise. I had assumed she’d made him get it, but then I noticed how she was giving me these funny looks. Unsure what they meant, I decided to mingle with other guests to avoid the awkwardness.
But, Lisa somehow managed to get my attention. “Ben mentioned he’s not great with birthdays,” she said with a chuckle. “He forgot mine a few weeks ago. Is it intentional?”
I laughed, remembering all the missed anniversaries and forgotten special days. “I have no idea, Lisa, but 13 years of marriage and two kids wasn’t the benchmark because he never really got the hang of it,” I replied. “It’s just who he is.”
Lisa seemed disappointed and tried to hide it, but I thought nothing of it and wandered off to talk to other guests. I decided to shift the conversation to something lighter and talked about family plans and the upcoming holidays. The rest of the evening went smoothly, and we all parted ways with smiles and hugs.
Later that night, as I was getting ready for bed, I received a text from an unknown number. It was my ex’s new girlfriend. “Hi, this is Lisa. I got your number from Ben. I hope it’s okay to text you. I wanted to ask you something.”
Curious, I replied, “Sure, what’s up?”
Her response came quickly and when I read it, I was STUNNED. She hadn’t gotten over our brief conversation earlier and was asking if Ben’s forgetfulness of special occasions was something that could be fixed. “I know this might seem odd because we touched on it earlier, but I need to know…”
“…Does Ben ever improve when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries? I don’t want to make a big deal out of it if it’s something that won’t change.” I stared at my phone, feeling a mix of emotions. Part of me wanted to warn her, to tell her not to ever expect much.
But another part of me debated whether to give Ben a heads-up as it seemed like this was a serious issue for his new girlfriend and that she expected more attention to such things. Yet, a part of me resented having to teach him to be better about something he never tried with me.
I also felt like it wasn’t my place to interfere. After a moment, I typed back, “Honestly, he’s my ex for a reason. I can’t say if he’ll change or not, and I’m not going to have the answers you need.” I continued, “It’s something you’ll have to figure out together. Lovely meeting you, though.”
Months went by without much thought about that night. Then, one evening, Ben called me out of the blue. “Lisa and I broke up,” he said, sounding frustrated.
“What happened?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“She kept making a big deal out of nothing, busy complaining about birthdays and anniversaries. I told her it’s not something I care about, and she just wouldn’t let it go,” he said, sounding furious.
“It turned into this huge argument when I forgot our anniversary, and she left,” he explained, his voice tinged with annoyance.
I sighed, feeling a twinge of guilt as I wondered if I could’ve helped them if I had been more supportive of Lisa when she texted me. “Ben, did she tell you it was important to her?” I asked, feeling like my responses to Lisa played a part in their breakup.
He was silent for a moment. “She told me on many occasions that such things were important to her.”
“But WHO CARES! You never made it a big deal,” he said defensively.
Tired of coddling him, I said, “Well, sir, and that’s why we divorced.”
“That’s mean, Kim,” my ex replied, sounding sad.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I stopped trying because I knew it wouldn’t matter to you,” I replied calmly. “But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t important to me. Or to her. You have to meet people halfway.”
Ben grumbled something under his breath, and I could tell he wasn’t ready to accept that truth. We ended the call on a neutral note, and I sat there, thinking about Lisa. She deserved someone who would appreciate her efforts and reciprocate her feelings.
A few days later, I bumped into Lisa at the grocery store. She looked tired but managed a smile when she saw me. “Hi, how are you?” she asked politely.
“I’m good, thanks. How about you?” I replied, genuinely concerned.
“I’ve been better,” she admitted. “Ben and I broke up.”
“I heard,” I said softly. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
She sighed. “I couldn’t deal with feeling unimportant. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to care.”
I nodded, understanding her frustration all too well. “It’s hard when someone doesn’t value what you do. You deserve someone who will.”
Lisa smiled sadly. “Thanks. I appreciate that. I guess I hoped he could change.”
“Change is hard for some people,” I said gently. “But don’t lose hope. You’ll find someone who values you.”
We parted ways, and I felt a strange sense of closure. Lisa’s struggle mirrored my past frustrations, but it also highlighted how much I had grown since my marriage ended. I had learned to accept Ben’s flaws, but I also realized that I deserved more than what he was willing to give.
That evening, I sat down with my children and talked about their dad. I wanted them to understand that while he had his shortcomings, he loved them deeply. We laughed about his forgetfulness and shared stories of the good times we had as a family.
As I reflected on everything, I felt a deep sense of peace. I had moved on from the hurt and disappointment and was ready to embrace whatever the future held. I hoped Lisa would find the happiness she deserved, and I knew that I had done the right thing by not getting too involved in their relationship.
In the end, it wasn’t about birthdays or anniversaries. It was about finding someone who truly valued and appreciated you for who you are. I did not doubt that Lisa would find that person someday, and I knew I was finally content with my own life.
As I looked at my children, I felt grateful for the love and joy they brought into my life. We had our good and bad moments, but we were a family, and that was what mattered most. And as for Ben, I hoped he would eventually learn to value the important things in life.
For now, I was happy. I had my kids, friends, and a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time. And that was more than enough.
If you enjoyed Kim’s story, you’ll love this one about a woman who got pregnant around the same time her son’s girlfriend was also expecting. The son’s girlfriend caused a rift in the family when she made demands of his mother about naming her child.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
7 Job Interview Secret Tricks Every Applicant Should Know
Job interviews are an essential step in the hiring process for employers to evaluate your professional profile. As an applicant, you may think that answering simple questions is enough to impress the hiring manager. However, it’s crucial to understand that job interviews can also include hidden tests that measure your honesty and reliability. We want to help you prepare for your job interviews like a pro. Our team is one step ahead and has uncovered the secrets behind common interview tricks. Keep reading to learn more and ace your next job interview.
1. Discover the “Coffee Cup” test for job interviews
In recent times, the “coffee cup” test has gained popularity among recruiters. During the interview, the hiring manager takes the interviewee to the kitchen to offer them a drink. At the end of the meeting, the employer observes the candidate’s response to the coffee cup: whether they inquire where to put it, leave it on the table, or wash it themselves in the kitchen.
Trent Innes, the former Managing Director of Xero Australia and Asia, who devised this method, asserts that: “This trick reveals more about a person’s character and manners than their answers to questions. It can also show how quickly the candidate will fit into a team. In this case, the right decision is to stop by the kitchen after the interview and scrub the mug yourself.”
2. The importance of punctuality and emotional stability in job interviews
Compared to this new job interview technique, the coffee cup test seems benign. When a candidate is scheduled for a 9 a.m. interview and arrives promptly after waking up early, only to be made to wait due to the employer’s “busy” schedule. The interviewee must endure waiting for 10 minutes, and then another 10… and eventually 15 minutes more.
This technique serves to reveal the applicant’s emotional stability when handling stressful situations and their eagerness to secure the position by demonstrating their level of patience. Punctuality and composure under pressure are valuable attributes that recruiters look for in their candidates.
3. Remaining composed under pressure during job interviews
Raising one’s voice, shouting, or even swearing is yet another tactic to simulate a stressful situation and test the limits of the candidate’s nerves. Experts recommend staying composed and responding to questions as calmly as possible.
It is essential to demonstrate emotional stability and composure during challenging situations, as this showcases one’s ability to handle stress effectively. These are crucial traits that recruiters look for when assessing candidates during job interviews.
4. Creative thinking in job interviews: how to handle unusual requests
Candidates may encounter yet another surprise during job interviews, presented in the form of an eccentric request, such as jumping out of a window. This request aims to evaluate the candidate’s ability to think creatively and outside the box.
To navigate such a situation, one can climb up to the window and jump onto the office floor where the interview is taking place, as there were no instructions on where to land. Alternatively, the candidate can respond with a win-win counter-question, such as “What benefit would my jump bring to the company?”
Handling unconventional requests is an opportunity to showcase one’s creative problem-solving skills, and this quality is highly valued by recruiters in many industries.
5. Assessing candidate adaptability in job interviews: how to handle unusual interviewer behavior
Employers may utilize another interview technique by displaying unusual behavior, such as ignoring the candidate and staring intently at the computer screen or suddenly leaving during the interview to take a phone call, leaving the applicant alone in the office.
This tactic serves to evaluate the candidate’s adaptability and assess how they handle unforeseen situations. One effective solution is to collaborate with the secretary to reschedule the interview for another day.
Adaptability is a valuable attribute that recruiters seek in candidates, as it indicates the ability to adjust to new situations, think on their feet, and navigate challenging circumstances effectively. Demonstrating flexibility and resourcefulness during job interviews can enhance one’s chances of securing the position.
6. Post-interview evaluation: meeting potential co-workers
It is common for employers to invite applicants to meet with potential co-workers in a non-work environment or specific situation after the interview concludes. This is more than just a friendly gesture; it provides an opportunity for the employer to evaluate the candidate based on feedback from existing employees.
Meeting with potential co-workers is an essential step in the hiring process as it allows recruiters to gain insight into how the candidate will fit into the company culture and interact with the team. A positive evaluation from co-workers can significantly enhance the candidate’s chances of receiving a job offer.
7. Cooperation test: responding to a simple request
Another assessment commonly used by employers is the cooperation test, which evaluates whether candidates possess helpful and cooperative qualities. During the interview, the employer may intentionally drop their pen to observe the candidate’s reaction. If the applicant instinctively bends down to pick up the pen, it indicates a willingness to cooperate, increasing the chances of receiving a job offer. Conversely, if the candidate allows the employer to pick up the pen on their own, it may negatively impact their chances of securing the position.
Cooperative individuals are highly valued in the workplace as they possess qualities such as teamwork, communication, and a positive attitude. Demonstrating these qualities during the hiring process can help candidates stand out to potential employers.
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