A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Real reason Kate Middleton turned down invite to Lilibet’s 1st birthday party – she was mocked by Meghan’s pal
It’s reasonable to suppose Princess Lilibet is still ignorant of her parents’ past. After Prince Harry and Meghan Markle relocated to Montecito, California, the small child was born in the US, and her upbringing differed greatly from her father’s. Even though Lilibet’s first birthday was truly celebrated in the UK, rumors and conjecture still persisted.
Lilibet’s first birthday celebration was missed by her cousins Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis as well as her royal aunt and uncle, Prince William and Kate Middleton. Although it is said that the late Queen Elizabeth was present, she declined to have her photo taken with her great-granddaughter.
The absence of William and Kate at Lilibet’s birthday celebration sparked reactions soon after. While it is true that the Waleses and Sussexes’ relationship was at an all-time low, one of Meghan’s pals publicly mocked Kate and refused to accept it as the cause.
Harry and Meghan made the wonderful announcement that their daughter Lilibet had been born on June 4, 2021. Fans of the royal family will be aware that the girl is their second child; their son, Archie, was born in 2019.
Lilibet, Princess
“It is with great joy that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, welcome their daughter, Lilibet “Lili” Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, to the world,” a pair representative stated at the time.
Prince William and Kate Middleton were among the other members of the royal family to congratulate Harry and Meghan on the birth of their second child. However, the relationship between the Sussexes and Waleses is now colder than it has ever been.
After her parents had already left the Royal Family, Lilibet was born in the United States. Because Lilibet would benefit from a more subdued and intimate presentation to the public, she could avoid the paparazzi press that had followed Harry and Meghan across the globe.
It took some time for Lilibet’s family in the UK to get to meet her, as the Sussexes reside in the US.
Lilibet finally saw her great-grandmother at Queen Elizabeth’s Platinum Jubilee Celebration in 2022. Lilibet turned one on June 4, 2022, and her parents chose to celebrate at Frogmore Cottage, their then-UK residence.
MisanHarriman on Instagram.
On their daughter’s special day, Meghan and Harry planned a picnic in their backyard. One of the few images of Lilibet that the public has seen is the lovely photo that their friend Misan Harriman shared of the young child celebrating her birthday.
At Lilibet’s first birthday celebration, Queen Elizabeth declined to have her photo taken.
Lilibet first encountered her then-grandfather, Prince Charles, and her great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth, at the picnic at Frogmore Cottage.
Although they must have both been happy to see Lilibet, no pictures of their initial meeting were released to the public. In fact, Queen Elizabeth forbade Harry and Meghan from having a photographer present, as The Sun revealed.
An insider told The Sun, “Harry and Meghan wanted their photographer to capture the moment Lilibet met the Queen.” But nobody gave them a chance. It was a private gathering with family.
The tiny child had a bloodshot eye, so the queen refused to have a picture taken with her, according to royal researcher Camilla Tominey. According to Tominey, the queen requested not to be in any pictures that would be released to the public.
Harry was said to have mentioned wanting a picture with her “at some point in the future,” according to a report that Tominey reported at the time in The Telegraph.
The queen at the time, according to royal expert Phil Dampier, had a “lack of trust” in Harry and Meghan because they had participated in the controversial Oprah Winfrey interview just a few months prior. She therefore wished to avoid having her great-granddaughter pictured.
“The Queen remained as sharp as a pin, despite her health struggles. She became aware that any photo she had taken with Lilibet might have been used for malicious purposes, Dampier told The Sun.
“I don’t believe she was overly happy that the name Lilibet was selected in the first place and was given to her as a fait accompli. Putting her foot down, she ruled against taking pictures.
A friend of Meghan Markle made fun of Kate Middleton for turning down Lilibet’s birthday invitation.
According to reports, the children of Zara Tindall and Peter Phillips were the only ones that attended the celebration. Princess Kate, Prince William, and their kids decided not to go. Things haven’t really gotten much better since then; tensions were still very high.
The official explanation for Prince William and Kate Middleton’s absence from Lilibet’s birthday celebration was that they had other obligations that day. But during the Sussexes’ visit to the UK, Christopher Andersen, a royal specialist, told Us Weekly that the future king and queen made “no effort” to introduce George, Charlotte, and Louis to Lilibet.
One of Meghan Markle’s pals was displeased when Prince William and Kate Middleton turned down the invitation to Lilibet’s first birthday picnic at Frogmore Cottage.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills actress Garcelle Beauvais discussed the absence of the now-Prince and Princess of Wales from the birthday celebration in an interview with E!.
She called Kate’s choice to skip the event “shady.”
“What’s happening is that I’m shampooing my hair and we’re out of town—what a coincidence. There is some shade there, Beauvais said to E!.
“They are unable to postpone the flight for a few hours in order to meet Lilibet and Archie?”
Family conflicts are never pleasant, and they frequently become much more complicated when children are involved.
Harry hasn’t seen his nephews and niece in a while due to the ongoing “battle of the brothers” and Harry and Meghan’s relocation to the US. Tom Quinn, a royal biographer, claims that Harry is “devastated” at the division.
Princess Lilibet turns three, and the celebration is kept low-key.
Quinn informed the Mirror, “We know that Harry’s deepest upset concerns not only his lack of relationship with George, Charlotte, and Louis, but also his own children’s lack of a relationship with their cousins.”
“Harry and Meghan would really like to find a solution to the issue. They would really like it if the cousins could get together frequently and have a good connection as they grow up, but they are unable to see how that can happen while they are still at odds. Harry expressed his wish that the cousins could maintain their friendship as adults.
Tuesday, June 4, 2024 was Lilibet’s third birthday. As previously indicated, Lilibet’s first birthday was observed in the UK. In California, her second birthday was supposedly celebrated with a “celeb-packed all-American bash,” while this year’s event is supposedly more subdued.
People Magazine stated that a “pre-birthday bash” kicked off the birthday celebrations for Lilibet. Harry, Meghan, and their kids threw a celebration in their Montecito house over the weekend to honor their daughter. “Close friends, family, and some of Lili’s friends” were among the attendees.
When Meghan Markle was in Nigeria, she shared new information on Lilibet.
Harry and Meghan have made the decision to keep their kids out of the spotlight, and they seldom ever post updates or images of Archie and Lilibet. When the kids debuted in their Netflix series in December 2022, among other things, royal fans learned that Archie spoke with an American accent.
In order to promote the Invictus Games, Harry and Meghan traveled to Nigeria for three days a few weeks ago. Meghan said that Lilibet’s “favorite class” was “singing and dancing” while visiting a school in Abuja. This was probably because to “all the jumping around.”
In addition, the Duchess conversed with a few students and gave a brief speech about her daughter.
It’s interesting to note that Lili, our daughter, is far smaller than any of you. It’s almost her third birthday. And a few weeks prior, all she would see when she gazed at me was my eye’s reflection. “Mama, I see myself in you,” she exclaimed. Meghan remarked, “Oh, now she was talking really, literally,” according to the Mirror.
But my interpretation of those words was quite different. And I realized that while I do see myself and you, and you see me and you, I also see myself in each and every one of you as I glance around this room.
Though Archie and Lilibet have remained out of the spotlight for the time being, the Sussexes may decide to change that.
People Magazine stated that a “pre-birthday bash” kicked off the birthday celebrations for Lilibet. Harry, Meghan, and their kids threw a celebration in their Montecito house over the weekend to honor their daughter. “Close friends, family, and some of Lili’s friends” were among the attendees.
When Meghan Markle was in Nigeria, she shared new information on Lilibet.
Harry and Meghan have made the decision to keep their kids out of the spotlight, and they seldom ever post updates or images of Archie and Lilibet. When the kids debuted in their Netflix series in December 2022, among other things, royal fans learned that Archie spoke with an American accent.
In order to promote the Invictus Games, Harry and Meghan traveled to Nigeria for three days a few weeks ago. Meghan said that Lilibet’s “favorite class” was “singing and dancing” while visiting a school in Abuja. This was probably because to “all the jumping around.”
In addition, the Duchess conversed with a few students and gave a brief speech about her daughter.
It’s interesting to note that Lili, our daughter, is far smaller than any of you. It’s almost her third birthday. And a few weeks prior, all she would see when she gazed at me was my eye’s reflection. “Mama, I see myself in you,” she exclaimed. Meghan remarked, “Oh, now she was talking really, literally,” according to the Mirror.
But my interpretation of those words was quite different. And I realized that while I do see myself and you, and you see me and you, I also see myself in each and every one of you as I glance around this room.
Though Archie and Lilibet have remained out of the spotlight for the time being, the Sussexes may decide to change that.
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