It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
Terry Crews’ wife says their marriage almost ended three times.
Terry Crews’ wife, Rebecca, shared that their marriage almost ended in divorce three times, but they worked through their issues after Terry decided to focus on “working on himself.”
In an interview with DailyMail.com, Rebecca, who’s been married to Terry for 35 years, spoke about how much she admires his determination but also revealed they’ve had tough times, even coming close to being homeless.
She explained that their shared faith has been important in their relationship. Even when things were difficult, they both kept trying, believing that they chose each other for a reason. Rebecca said they’ve had a few moments where they could have ended their marriage, but each time, one of them wanted to stay and worked hard to make things better.
Rebecca Crews, mother of five and the founder of a new boutique in Pasadena, shared more about her relationship with her husband, Terry. She explained that their marriage almost ended three times. The first time, she wanted out, but Terry fought to keep them together. The second time, he wanted to leave, but she fought for him. The third time, Terry had to face his addiction, and Rebecca kicked him out.
Terry begged her to stay, but Rebecca told him he’d messed up. He went to work on himself, became a better person, but Rebecca said he could still improve.
Both Terry and Rebecca have been open about their struggles, and in 2021, Terry admitted that his porn addiction nearly ruined their marriage.
When asked what makes a marriage last, Rebecca said it’s important to make sure both people are getting what they want. She knew what she wanted when she married Terry, and it turned out they shared similar goals. She warned that couples who don’t share the same dreams, like wanting children, can face big problems.
Rebecca added that even though it’s been tough, she always saw Terry as a good guy and her friend, and that helped them get through the hard times.
Rebecca Crews shared that she loved Terry as a person before she fell in love with him, and he’s still her friend. She joked that she can sometimes argue with him and then hug him right after, saying, “but you’re still my boo.”
Rebecca explained that while she holds Terry to a certain “standard,” forgiveness is important in making their relationship work. She said she often tells him, “You can do better,” and that he admits he’s not perfect. She believes forgiveness is key to staying married, but it has to be sincere. She added that you can’t just keep accepting bad behavior; sometimes you need to step back and let someone feel the consequences.
The couple, who have four daughters and a son, have been through tough times but live in Pasadena, California, and have been together for 25 years.
Rebecca Crews shared that there was a time in their lives when they were close to being homeless. They were just a week away from having to leave their place with nowhere to go when something came through for them at the last moment. They ended up moving just across the street in Burbank.
Now that all of their children have grown up and moved out, Rebecca said she and Terry have more freedom. They travel more and she can even join him while he’s working, making the empty-nester life fun. She joked that Terry can sometimes feel like another child!
With more time on her hands, Rebecca has been focusing on her clothing line. She’s grateful for the support from Terry, both financially and emotionally, and she credits him for helping her build her determination. Rebecca said it’s never too late to follow your dreams, and she now feels bolder and more confident. She even got emotional when her new store in Pasadena was opening, calling it a dream come true and seeing even bigger things ahead.
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