The 7 Funniest Jokes About Husbands and Wives That Every Couple Can Relate To

Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.

From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.

1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.

Source: Freepik

A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.

After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.

“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”

He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…

“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”

2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.

Source: Freepik

When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”

Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”

“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”

He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”

3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.

Source: Freepik

One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”

Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”

George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”

Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”

George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”

His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”

4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.

Source: Freepik

A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”

The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”

5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.

Source: Freepik

In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.

“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”

The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.

Source: Freepik

A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.

“How was it?” the man asked.

“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.

“How so?” the man asked.

“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”

“How do you know?”

“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”

The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.

Source: Freepik

Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”

His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”

An Athlete Got Her Period During a Race and Responded to Critics With a Powerful Message

“Not the most flattering photo of Emma, surely they can crop it a little better,” commented Xavier Coppock on a post where the athlete is shown finishing a race with a bloodstained one-piece swimsuit. It was at that precise moment that a long debate ensued.

https://brightside.me/articles/an-athlete-got-her-period-during-a-race-and-responded-to-critics-with-a-powerful-message-813791/?utm_source=5_minute_crafts_usa_fb&utm_medium=square_cards&utm_campaign=1st_comment_links&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR0IswMr_B2AyGOomWLESHmxGHWzfvgAYMExKZBtiyJMavxhVkPOMNgPxHc_aem_AZZHgjRAkqt1De4XxAAgtiLGA6aJPZg0m3x72S-zy93fq-gSUZHAsAPtsG-VbU-VWVlj0fjO1QNHkSRjgpsMMWS0

Emma Pallant-Browne is a British athlete who competes in triathlon, duathlon, and aquathlon events. Among her latest achievements, she won a silver medal at the 2022 World Long Distance Triathlon Championships. In the prestigious Ironman 70.3 competition, she won 2 medals (silver in 2017 and bronze in 2022) and a gold medal at the European Championship in the same year.

In her latest multi-sport challenge, Emma finished fourth. The PTO Tour European Open in Ibiza was held just days after she won the Duathlon World Championship.

https://brightside.me/articles/an-athlete-got-her-period-during-a-race-and-responded-to-critics-with-a-powerful-message-813791/?utm_source=5_minute_crafts_usa_fb&utm_medium=square_cards&utm_campaign=1st_comment_links&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR0IswMr_B2AyGOomWLESHmxGHWzfvgAYMExKZBtiyJMavxhVkPOMNgPxHc_aem_AZZHgjRAkqt1De4XxAAgtiLGA6aJPZg0m3x72S-zy93fq-gSUZHAsAPtsG-VbU-VWVlj0fjO1QNHkSRjgpsMMWS0

On the other hand, Xavier Coppock is another triathlete who decided to comment on a photo of Emma that had been published on the official profile of the competition that took place in Spain. Among the images, she is shown running with a red stain on her swimsuit due to her period.

Although we believe that the athlete’s comment was not made with ill intentions, his words caused a stir online. For her part, Emma was quick to respond. In the same forum, she tagged him and dedicated a few lines to him.

5 days later, the athlete uploaded the same photo to her profile. In the description, she sent an important message. “Celebrating the amazing women in sport and the equally amazing men who champion them. Humbled by the number of messages I’ve had from both men and women about the unglamorous reality of racing on your period,” she began.

In the post, she explained the factors that contributed to this situation. Her light pink outfit was chosen so as not to attract the sun’s rays, and she rolled over her bike, making the stain more visible. She squirted water at the hydration stations, but it failed to remove the stain.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Csoa5cJMuIL/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=d30d56d3-7650-4905-8639-26ef57bdf82a

“This is a women’s sport and the more barriers we can break, the better. After a long career, you end up with a photo like this, but the idea of editing it means there is something wrong with it. I share it because there’s really nothing wrong with it, it’s a natural thing,” she said.

“So if you have a photo like this, save it, cherish it, and remember how you performed on a tough day because one day you might just be able to help someone else with it,” she concluded in her powerful message.

The original post was deleted, but we still have Emma’s, which she posted on her profile. This athlete gave us a lot to talk about — she managed to turn a small comment into an empowering message regarding menstruation. It gave us pause and made us think about the natural things we should stop turning into taboos.

Preview photo credit em_pallant / Instagramprofessionaltriathletesorg / Instagram

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