During my childhood and teenage years, I felt the weight of my father’s strict expectations. Instead of being supportive, he focused on control. His voice often echoed in my mind, reminding me of his “random checks” of my room and school bags, which felt more like an interrogation than genuine concern.
His high standards didn’t just apply at home; they spilled into my school life too. He insisted that I must earn at least a B in every subject, always pushing me to do better. This constant pressure built up a lot of anxiety in me and drove me to succeed, but mostly out of fear rather than passion.
As I got older, I became determined to break free from his tight grip, especially when it came to my college education. I decided to fund my own schooling, so my father couldn’t use financial control against me. In contrast, my cousin had a much different experience. His parents, my aunt and uncle, were involved in his life but respected his independence. They supported his education without making him feel pressured. This difference in our upbringings made me acutely aware of the heavy burden I carried.
When I graduated from high school, I made the choice to pay for my college myself. I took on part-time jobs and student loans, accepting the debt rather than risking my father’s influence over me. Interestingly, during this time, my father never offered financial help. He seemed unconcerned about my struggles, yet he painted a different picture to others.
He liked to present himself as the supportive dad who was investing in my future. At social gatherings, he would boast about how much he was contributing to my education, enjoying the praise he received for being a caring father. This false story was something he maintained without a hint of shame.
This charade continued until one summer evening at a family barbecue. During a relaxed conversation, my uncle, unaware of the truth, asked my father how much my education was costing him. Without hesitation, my father responded with pride, claiming it was a significant investment for my future.
Hearing this blatant lie ignited a fire in me. I knew I couldn’t let this continue. While I didn’t confront him then, I began planning how to reveal the truth in a way that left no doubt about my actual journey through college. I waited for graduation day, knowing it would be the perfect time to set the record straight. I invited my family, including my father, making sure they would all be there for what I had planned.
On graduation day, I felt a mix of nerves and determination. As I prepared to speak, I understood the weight of this moment. It represented not just my academic achievement but also a personal declaration. When it was my turn, I approached the podium, heart racing. The audience quieted, and I began: “Today, I want to thank the person who truly made this possible… myself. I financed my college education through hard work, determination, and countless hours of part-time jobs”.
The reaction was immediate. Gasps and murmurs filled the room as images of my college experience appeared on the screen behind me, pictures of late nights studying, work schedules, and tuition checks, all from my own earnings.
“Every dollar I earned and every exam I passed was done without any financial aid from my father”, I continued, glancing at my father’s shocked expression. The atmosphere shifted as my words sank in. The images contrasted sharply with my father’s claims, creating a powerful moment of personal vindication and public clarification.
After the ceremony, family reactions varied. Some were surprised, while others admired my independence. My aunt approached me, looking regretful. “We had no idea you did this all on your own”, she said, her tone apologetic. I wasn’t seeking sympathy but rather acknowledgment of my hard work. This recognition was more fulfilling than any comforting words could offer.
Later, my uncle, clapping me on the back, remarked with respect: “You really showed him. You took control and told the truth”. “Yes, I suppose I did”, I replied, feeling a sense of freedom that went beyond just graduating. “But more importantly, I showed myself what I’m capable of.”
That day marked the end of my college journey and the beginning of a new chapter in my life, free from my father’s oppressive expectations. I had proven to myself and others that I could face significant challenges on my own terms.
My experience in college, funded by my hard work, was a testament to resilience and self-reliance. Standing there with my peers and family, I knew that exciting new adventures awaited me, filled with the promise of freedom and the thrill of self-determination. I walked away not just with a diploma but with a deep understanding of my own strength and capability.
The True Reason Why an Indian Man Has Been Holding His Arm Up Since 1973
“I don’t ask for much,” said this man who has held his arm up for 50 years now. We were deeply amazed by his extraordinary gesture, and upon discovering the real purpose behind it, we couldn’t help but eagerly share his story with our beloved readers.
Meet Amar Bharati.
A devoted Indian ascetic by the name of Amar Bharati has been tirelessly advocating for world peace for 50 years, all the while maintaining a remarkable gesture of raising his right hand in the air without ever lowering it.
A sadhu, which is a revered religious ascetic or holy individual in Hinduism (and occasionally in Buddhism and Jainism), is someone who has willingly renounced all worldly desires.
Mr. Bharati, previously a married man with three children who worked as a clerk in New Delhi, made a life-altering decision in 1970 when he resigned from his job and parted ways with his family and friends. His profound commitment led him to dedicate his existence to Shiva, one of the central deities of Hinduism, often referred to as “the primordial yogi.”
Next, he conceived a gesture that would become universally recognized.
Starting in 1973, he began raising his arm as a profound symbol of his unwavering devotion and as a powerful statement to actively advocate for peace and oppose conflicts worldwide. In his unconditional commitment, he endured excruciating pain for two long years, resulting in his arm losing all sensation and the muscles therein wasting away.
Indian sadhus frequently embark on the most rigorous forms of penance, demanding exceptional self-discipline, all in the pursuit of attaining liberation and enlightenment, referred to as Moksha in the Indian spiritual context.
Today, Bharati’s arm stands as a testament to his enduring resolve. It has become a mere skeletal structure, and his once-nails have transformed into spiraling claws.
In a candid interview, the wise sadhu shared his heartfelt message, saying, “I do not ask for much. Why are we fighting our sons among ourselves? Why is there so much hatred and enmity between us? I just want all Indians and the whole world to live in peace with each other.”
One can only fathom the immense pain he must have endured throughout his incredible journey. It is precisely these acts of extreme self-discipline and the underlying motivations behind them that have piqued the interest of individuals outside of India, even drawing the attention of historical figures such as Alexander the Great.
Mr. Amar has adapted to life with his raised arm.
He lives as if his arm is missing, using his other hand for everything, like eating, getting dressed, and bathing. Although it’s not easy, Amar firmly believes that this way of life brings him closer to Shiva and encourages people to think about being more peaceful in their daily routines.
“If you try to lower Bharati’s hand you will cause him real pain, not physical but spiritual, for he believes that his eternal salute does indeed promote world peace,” one of his acquaintances explained. Another individual addressed the practical aspect, pointing out that there’s a physical challenge as well. The cartilage in his elbow has dried out, making any attempt to move his arm a potential risk to his joint.
in his devoted pursuit of peace.
Before you go, make sure to read another article where we explain why rocking a peace sign in your photos can put you in danger.
Preview photo credit ERIC LAFFORGUE / Alamy Stock Photo
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