When Heather’s five-year-old daughter refuses to draw her father in her paintings, her heart breaks. Heather eventually presses Lily for an answer, and when she does, Lily shares a shocking revelation about a secret her dad has been keeping. Heather is rendered speechless by the news, which reveals a side of their life that she never would have suspected. I listened to the worried voice of Lily’s teacher while sitting on the couch with the phone pressed to my ear.”Heather, how are things going at your house?” Mrs. Thompson enquired politely.
An knot of worry tightened in my gut. I said, “Mrs. Thompson, what’s the deal?” On the other end, she let out a quiet sigh. We asked the children to create portraits of their families today. Lily only drew herself, you, and her older brother Liam. She became silent and clammed up when I asked her where her dad was.My heart fell. I looked over at Lily, who was on the carpet playing with her toys. Her tiny face exuded such innocence and joy. “Oh, I understand,” I said in a firm voice.
Her dad hasn’t been around much these days, though. We’ve been going through some difficult times.Heather, I get it. Simply put, Lily appeared somewhat reticent when I asked her. Perhaps there was more going on, I reasoned.I inhaled deeply as I attempted to collect my thoughts. I appreciate you informing me of this, Mrs. Thompson. I’ll discuss it with Lily. Naturally, Heather. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you need any assistance. We want to make sure Lily, who is a lovely girl, is doing well.An old woman talking on the phone I said, “Thank you,” with a mixture of concern and thankfulness.
“I will see to it.” I gave Lily another look as I hung up. She held out one of her dolls and grinned at me. “Observe, mother! She’s got on a lovely dress! I feigned a laugh. I said, “She sure is, sweetheart.” A young girl having fun with a doll. I had to figure out how to bring up Lily’s father with her without upsetting her. I inhaled deeply. Why didn’t you draw Daddy when you were in kindergarten, sweetie? Has he done something that has angered you? Trying to sound as nice as possible, I asked. With reluctance in her large eyes, Lily raised her gaze to me. “Mommy, I can’t tell you.”I squatted down next to her. “Why, my dear? Tell your mother everything you want to. She bit her lip with hesitation. At last, she grasped my hand and murmured, “All right, Mommy, I’ll show you.”
She moved some old crates aside and took me to a corner of the garage. She brought an old, dusty scrapbook out from behind them and gave it to me, her expression sad. “Mom, look inside.”A dejected young girl clutching a photo album. With shaky hands, I opened the album. It was crammed with pictures and sketches, a mixture of joyful events and carefree sketches.
But one page stopped me cold. It was a picture of a man who looked strikingly like my husband but with subtle differences. He was standing with a woman and two children, none of whom I recognized. A kid removing photos from a book with an adult sitting beside them. My heart pounded in my chest as I stared at the photo. “Lily, where did you find this?” She pointed to the back of the garage. “I found it when I was looking for my old toys.” I sat down on an old stool, feeling a wave of confusion and fear wash over me. Could it be true? Could David have a second family? I didn’t want to believe it, but the evidence was right in front of me.
“Mommy, are you okay?” Lily asked, her voice small and worried. I pulled her into a hug, trying to hide my anxiety. “I’m okay, sweetheart. Thank you for showing me. We’ll figure this out together, okay?” She nodded, and I held her close, my mind racing with questions and doubts. That night, with my heart heavy and mind swirling, I confronted David in our bedroom.
The scrapbook lay open on the bed, its pages filled with secrets I never imagined. “Care to explain this?” I demanded, my voice shaking as I pointed to the incriminating photos. David’s face went pale. He sighed heavily and sat down, his hands trembling.“I–I’m sorry, Heather,” he said. “I was going to tell you, but I didn’t know how.” “You have another family? How could you do this to us?” I yelled, tears streaming down my face, my anger mixing with overwhelming sorrow. “It’s not what you think,” he said, his voice breaking. “Before I met you, I was married. We had two children, but my wife and one of the kids died in a car accident.
The surviving child, my son, lives with his grandmother. I couldn’t bear to talk about it.”I stood there, stunned. This revelation was more than I could process. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I managed to ask. “I didn’t want to bring the pain into our lives. I wanted to start fresh with you,” he explained, tears welling up in his eyes. His pain was evident, but so was mine. I sat down beside him, trying to absorb his words. The betrayal and the hidden past felt like too much to handle.“You should have trusted me, David,” I said. “We could have faced this together.” He nodded, wiping away a tear. “I know. I’m so sorry, Heather. I just didn’t want to lose you.” I sighed, my anger slowly giving way to empathy. “We’ll need time to work through this, but keeping secrets isn’t the way. We need to be honest with each other.”The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions.
I needed time to process everything. As I sat in my room one evening, staring at the scrapbook, a thought struck me. If Lily found this, could there be more secrets hidden in our home? Determined, I began searching the house. I went through drawers, old boxes, and forgotten corners, looking for anything that might reveal more of David’s past. In the attic, I found a hidden stack of letters and documents. My heart pounded as I sifted through them. One letter, in particular, stood out. It was from a law firm, detailing a large inheritance left to my husband by his late wife. The money was in a trust, and he had never mentioned it to me. I sat down on the attic floor, the letter trembling in my hands. The betrayal cut deep. Why hadn’t he told me about this? What else was he hiding? My mind raced with questions, and a new wave of anger and hurt washed over me. I had to confront him again, but this time, I needed answers.
That evening in the kitchen, the air was thick with tension. I placed the inheritance letter on the table in front of David as he sat down. Lily was in the living room, playing quietly. “You kept this inheritance a secret. Why? I thought we’d promised each other not to keep secrets.” He looked down, avoiding my gaze. “I feared it would change things between us, Heather. I thought if you knew, it would complicate everything.”How could you think hiding something so important would help us? It’s about trust, David. And right now, that trust is shattered!” He sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry, Heather. I really am. I never meant to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to handle it.” “We can’t go on like this, with secrets and lies.
We need transparency for our sake and for Lily’s,” I said, my voice softening slightly. “Can you promise me that?”David looked up, tears in his eyes. “Yes, I promise. No more secrets.” Just then, the phone rang. I picked it up, and an unfamiliar voice spoke. “Hello, Heather. This is Eleanor, David’s late wife’s mother. I’d like to meet Lily and Liam.” I was taken aback. I put the phone on speaker mode. “Eleanor, I didn’t expect this call. Why now?”“I think it’s time the half-siblings met. They deserve to know each other,” she replied gently. “Got your number from David long ago. Couldn’t find the courage to call you before today.” I glanced at David, who looked equally surprised. “We’ll arrange something soon,” I said, feeling a mixture of apprehension and hope. As I hung up the phone, I turned to David. “Eleanor wants Lily and Liam to meet their half-brother.”David nodded, his expression serious. “It’s about time. We need to bring our families together.” I hoped this was the beginning of a new chapter, one where honesty and healing could finally take root.
The next weekend, we arrived at Eleanor’s house, a warm and inviting place filled with memories. Photos of David’s past adorned the walls, a silent reminder of the life he had before us. Eleanor greeted us at the door.“Hello, Heather. I’m glad you came,” she said, giving me a gentle hug. “Come in, everyone.” We stepped inside, and I immediately felt the warmth of her home. Ethan, David’s surviving son, stood by the fireplace, looking nervous. Lily and Liam clung to my sides, their eyes wide with curiosity. “Ethan, these are your half-siblings, Lily and Liam,” Eleanor said, introducing them. Ethan smiled shyly. “Hi, Lily. Hi, Liam.” Lily took a step forward, her natural curiosity taking over. “Hi, Ethan. Do you like dinosaurs?” Ethan’s face lit up. “I love dinosaurs! Do you want to see my collection?”Lily nodded eagerly, and the two of them ran off to Ethan’s room, leaving us adults to talk.
I watched them go, feeling a sense of relief. Eleanor led us to the living room, where we sat down and began to talk. The conversation was emotional, filled with tears and apologies. David and Eleanor shared stories of the past, and I could see the pain and love in their eyes. A smiling elderly woman | Source: Pexels “Forgiveness and understanding can help us rebuild. We’re a family, and we need each other,” Eleanor said. I nodded, knowing she was right. Our family was fractured, but I could see a path to healing. It wouldn’t be easy, but together, we could rebuild stronger.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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