Dysfunctional families affect the quality of life of each of the members, especially the children. These troubled relationships cause chronic feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness, as well as attachment issues.
The teenager who shared her story on Reddit some time ago comes from such a family where the father is basically absent from his children’s lives despite living under one roof with them.
She took to the Reddit thread AITA to explain that it was her mother who took care of her and her siblings while the father wasn’t really involved in their upbringing.
One day, as he got home and left his mobile phone on the table, OP could read the message that he received at that moment which said, “last night was amazing, can’t wait to see you again” and some emojis.
After thinking about it for a short time, she decided to tell her mother that her dad was cheating on her. “She got pretty emotional which I felt bad about, and told me not to worry and that I should just worry about being a kid and let her take care of the rest, so I just let it go cause I didn’t want to hurt her more.”
One evening, the entire family gathered for dinner at OP’s grandfathers. There, her cousin shared the news that she started a new job. Everyone was pleased with the news, but then OP’s father told OP that she should be more like her cousin because she wasn’t any good according to him. But he didn’t stop there. In fact, he continued shaming OP telling her she should focus more on school and a lot more.
At one moment he mentioned that OP lacked respect for him, and that was the final straw.
At this point, OP had it enough. “Hard to respect you when you openly cheat on Mom and don’t even try to hide it,” she said in front of everyone.
The room went silent at first, but then her father started yelling both at her and her mother. The mom then took her kids and told her husband she shouldn’t be returning home.
Once home, OP started receiving text messages from her relatives who accused her of ruining the evening and the family. Her mom, however, told her “that she understood my frustration and I probably should have expressed it better privately but what’s done is done.”
Redditors were quick to comment that OP was NTA.
What are your thoughts on this?
I Thought I Taught My MIL a Lesson, but She Outsmarted Me After ‘Forgetting’ Her Wallet for Restaurant Dinner
Both Miranda’s predicament with Lilian, her mother-in-law, and Julia’s encounter with her in-laws serve as reminders of the complexity of family dynamics, especially when it comes to money. In Miranda’s instance, her discussion with Lilian finally resulted in a greater comprehension of one another’s viewpoints and a decision to speak more candidly going forward. Conversely, Julia and her spouse, David, managed to confront their in-laws’ shrewd actions by setting limits and promoting joint accountability.
Had I been Miranda, I might have approached the recurrent problem with Lilian in a similar manner. Establishing clear limits and having open and honest communication can frequently improve understanding within the family. It’s critical to approach these discussions with empathy and a readiness to hear one another out.
In Julia’s case, taking proactive action included confronting her in-laws about their actions and setting clear limits. Through a straightforward approach and a focus on the significance of shared responsibility, Julia and David successfully established a more equitable dynamic within their family.
In the end, every family dynamic is different, and these kinds of problems don’t have a universal answer. Nonetheless, handling challenging circumstances with family members can be greatly aided by preserving open communication, establishing limits, and placing a high value on mutual respect.
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